ALIEN
Jared, come outside!
ALIEN
I'm an alien from Poseidon 4
JARED
Sure...I'm going to sleep
ALIEN
Wait, I can prove it!
ALIEN
Look outside and you'll see my ship
ALIEN
Isn't she a beauty?
ALIEN
Stainless steel abduction chamber
JARED
You're really an alien
ALIEN
So will you help me?
ALIEN
My ship's stuck in your yard's wooden device
ALIEN
Give it a good shake
JARED
Hey what the hell!?
JARED
You tried to zap me!
JARED
You tried to abduct me!
ALIEN
I need your help, Jared
ALIEN
I need you to marry me
ALIEN
I love you with all my hearts
ALIEN
I was banished to your planet
ALIEN
I can't return without a spouse
ALIEN
Will you be my spouse, Jared?
ALIEN
Please, I miss my planet so much!
JARED
Going to bed now...
ALIEN
Dad, I told you I could handle it!
ALIEN PA
I've seen how you handle it
JARED
Guys, I'd like to sleep...
ALIEN PA
What's wrong with my daughter?
JARED
I don't even know her!
ALIEN PA
And you'll reject someone you don't know?
JARED
Look, I have school tomorrow
ALIEN PA
Wouldn't you rather see the stars?
ALIEN
I forgot to mention the stars
ALIEN MA
Is she married yet?
ALIEN PA
Soon, if I can help it
ALIEN MA
Great! We'll never leave this rock
ALIEN PA
You upset my wife, Jared
JARED
Sorry. I'm very tired
ALIEN
Yes, you'll have a splendid sleep!
ALIEN MA
Should I fluff the one or two-headed pillows?
JARED
Neither, Mrs. Alien
ALIEN PA
Our banishment means nothing to you?
JARED
Maybe your planet was on to something. Good. Night.
ALIEN PA
JARED THATS UNCALLED FOR
ALIEN
Oh, we're unworthy!
ALIEN MA
Don't cry your acid in the ship, darling
ALIEN PA
We'll try the neighbors
ALIEN PA
There must be a sci-fi nerd on this block
