As the laughter grows louder and deeper, Jacob reaches for the door.
His hands race up and down the cold smooth metal — but he can’t find a handle.
The only way out of the funhouse is through it.
A shock of red hair flashes through the line of mirrors — but just as soon as it appears,
Then a dramatically painted face looms over the two trespassers, grinning with an unnaturally big smile.
Clown
Don’t turn back now! Oh, why must you run? Can’t you tell that we’re having so much fun?
Clown
Don’t be a drag and don’t be a mouse! Come on in and explore my twisty funhouse!
Jacob’s head swivels around the room. There are clowns everywhere —
Big clowns, small clowns — lots of different clowns with their proportions distorted by the warped mirrors.
Celia
But…which one are you? Like, where are you actually standing?
Celia
And how many of you are here?
Clown
A girl like you, so smart and wry, should know that the only clown here is I.
Celia
And the other clowns just…left?
Clown
Alas, a break they needed so a break they took. We’re free to leave — never on the hook!
Jacob
Wait, I don’t get it — you didn’t need a break?
Clown
Chester the clown needs no rest. From dawn to dusk, he’s ready and dressed.
Chester
I’m proud to entertain and happy to play. It’s my favorite thing to do every day.
Jacob and Celia exchange a look.
There’s no way they can take this rhyming clown seriously — right?
Chester
I see your disbelief, clear on your face. But again, I assure you, I’m happy in this space.
Chester
In fact, in your life, are you filled with such joy? The faire could always use an extra girl or boy.
Jacob
Look, we’re not going anywhere.
Jacob
And you can’t make us. You people are —
Celia takes a step forward, spreading a sweet smile on her face.
Celia
Err…Chester? Could we…ask you a few questions?
Celia
Maybe about the new recruits to the faire?
Chester
Of course you may ask, and I shall answer. Though I may not speak directly, truth is always my master.
Jacob
Okay, dude, look. That one barely even rhymed.
Jacob
Honestly, if you could cut the crap, that would make things easier for everyone.
Jacob
My sister is missing, so this is KIND OF a serious matter.
Jacob
And we’d really appreciate it if your answers were BOTH true and straightforward.
Underneath his painted smile, Chester’s mouth falls into a flat line.
His words instantly lose their bounce.
Chester
With that cloud over your head, boy, you wear the mask of a tough man.
Jacob
What’s that supposed to mean?
Jacob
Seriously — first Rosemary, now you — why does everyone here insist on wearing masks?
Chester
Perhaps we should step back.
Chester
Why does a painted lady butterfly pretend to have eyes on her wings?
Jacob
What?! Are you kidding me right now?
Jacob
What part of ‘my sister is MISSING’ do you not understand?
Jacob
I need you to MAKE SENSE.
Celia cocks her head to the side.
Celia
Is it...it’s a protection thing, right? So the painted lady’s predators think she’s watching them?
Chester
Exactly! And so too, must a clown wear a mask. We all do.
The clown turns to Jacob, eyeing him warily.
Chester
Especially Rosemary. Please…be careful with her.
Chester
She…harbors a dark past.
Jacob
What? How do you know that I know Rosemary?
Chester
We all know, Jacob.
Chester
She’s one of our own, so word gets around when someone’s talking to her…
Chester
And visiting her late at night.
Jacob
Oh come on — that’s ridiculous! That was about my sister!
Jacob
And anyway, Rosemary’s married.
Jacob
I’m nothing to her.
But as he says the words, Jacob finds a tiny seed of hope in his chest…
Jacob
Why…why would she tell you about me?
Chester nods his head and again, slips on his bouncy voice.
He’s clearly no longer interested in giving Jacob and Celia any more information.
Chester
When a trustworthy husband is abusive and vile, we watch any love interests vigilantly, no matter his smile.
Jacob
Seriously man? I thought you quit it with the rhymes.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jacob sees Celia mouthing Chester’s words.
Suddenly, she goes rigid, throwing her arms straight down at her sides.
Celia
Jacob! We’ve gotta go, NOW.
Celia
I think I know who it is…I think I know who captured Emily!
Jacob and Celia can’t make out any of Chester’s shouts as they weave through the funhouse,
But they don’t care one bit. They’ve had enough of that confusing, riddling clown.
And it’s time they save not one, but potentially two very important lives.
