Jacob
Officer Veil? You told me to text you if I had any leads. And I do —
Jacob
Well, I guess it’s actually your lead.
Jacob
But you were right. I have proof that Rosemary abducted Emily. Meet me at her tent at the faire.
Officer Veil
Be there in fifteen.
Fifteen minutes later, Officer Veil walks into the soothsayer’s tent.
When he sees Rosemary, sitting calmly in front of her crystal ball,
He reaches for the handcuffs that are at his side.
Officer Veil
Rosemary Sage, you’re under arrest for the abduction of Emily Grant.
Rosemary
Have a seat sir. And first…let me tell you a fortune.
Officer Veil
Ms. Sage, this isn’t a game. I’m here on official police business.
But Rosemary doesn’t listen. Instead, she waves her hands around her crystal ball,
Leaning in to peer into it closely. Her voice comes out as a low rumble.
Rosemary
I see Emily Grant being captured.
Rosemary
She’s just a young girl of sixteen, and I see her scared and alone in a pen.
Rosemary
I see her captor, and he is a man.
Officer Veil lets out a gruff laugh.
Officer Veil
What is this? Is that supposed to be evidence?
Officer Veil
Ms. Sage, we have ACTUAL proof that you are responsible for the kidnapping of Emily Grant.
Officer Veil
Don’t we, Jacob?
But Jacob is nowhere to be seen, and a frightening clown looms forward instead.
Chester
None of your assumptions are true, you know. So now sit back and enjoy the show.
Chester places a heavy hand on Officer Veil’s shoulder and forces him down into a wooden chair.
Chester
Please don’t start, because the villain isn’t me. But it certainly isn’t our dear Rosemary.
Officer Veil
Is this some kind of joke to you people?
Officer Veil
This is exactly why your kind doesn’t belong in Bruinsboro.
Officer Veil
I’ll warn you — you’re playing with fire right now.
Officer Veil
This is a very serious situation. A young lady is missing!
But Officer Veil’s words only seem to encourage the entertainers, because Malvolio saunters into the room.
His arm is held out wide, as if he’s reciting Shakespeare.
Malvolio
Oh! What an act you put on, stoic Officer Veil!
Malvolio
As you search tirelessly — endlessly — for the culprit.
Malvolio
But you, just like the magician…
Malvolio
You distract the crowd with one hand, while moving something else with the other.
Officer Veil’s jaw clenches.
Officer Veil
What are you insinuating?
Malvolio
Where were you the night Emily Grant was kidnapped?
But before Officer Veil can answer, another voice surges forward from the darkness.
It’s gravelly and sultry, like the woman who owns it.
Contortionist
Oh poor, poor Officer Veil. It must be so hard to keep your story straight.
Contortionist
Especially with all your responsibilities.
The contortionist dances around Officer Veil, waving a long, wide ribbon in the air.
As if hypnotized, Officer Veil watches her, his head swiveling from side to side.
Contortionist
That’s right, Officer Veil, you just let Raven take care of you for a while.
Raven
And as I move, you should be aware…we know it was you.
Officer Veil
This is absurd! I am an officer of the law —
Raven
And yet, you have no trouble breaking it.
Raven
I mean, I guess it’s understandable…
Raven
They pay you so little money, and it wasn’t like you were going to keep Emily in a pen forever.
Raven
You’d give her back eventually, once you received your payment.
Raven
I mean, that’s all you care about — isn’t it?
Raven drops into a split, and when Officer Veil looks down,
He realizes he’s been tied onto the chair with Raven’s ribbon.
She pulls the ribbon tighter around his neck and Officer Veil struggles to breathe.
Raven
So, Officer Veil, are you going to be honest and tell us what happened?
Officer Veil
Okay, fine! I kidnapped Emily Grant!
Officer Veil
I wanted — I needed — the ransom money, okay?
Officer Veil
I couldn’t keep up with my mortgage on the salary they pay me.
Officer Veil
The bank is about to foreclose on my house.
Officer Veil
Don’t you understand? I didn’t have a choice!
Raven
You had no choice but to kidnap an innocent girl? That’s despicable.
Raven
Now you’ll sleep in the bed you made, Officer Veil…now that you’ve confessed.
Officer Veil
Listen, sweetheart. I’m going to get away with what I did.
Officer Veil
Jacob Grant WANTED me to come here today —
Officer Veil
So my squad will be on alert soon enough when I don’t report back to headquarters.
Officer Veil
And when they come, it’ll be my word against yours.
Officer Veil
Seeing as you’re the freaks who tied up a police officer, I think everyone will believe me.
Officer Veil
It’ll be the same old story — there’s no telling what you people will do. None of you belong here in Bruinsboro.
But before anyone responds, Jacob’s mother walks out of the shadows with purpose.
Mom
THESE people —these OUTSIDERS —
Mom
They’re smart. They’re kindhearted and generous.
Mom
And they’re helping me get my daughter back.
Mom
It’s more than I can say about you.
Mom
I can’t believe you tried to pin your own crime on the people at the faire — because what? They’re visitors?
Officer Veil
Hey! At the beginning of the investigation, you — and your son — said you didn’t trust them.
Officer Veil
I didn’t even have to bias you against them.
Mom
That’s true. And I’ll have to live with the fact that I was initially prejudiced against this group of people forever.
Mom
I can only hope they’ll accept my deepest apologies.
Mom
Because the people at this faire helped me when I needed it most.
Mom
They organized this whole thing when Jacob asked them to — in order to get that lovely confession out of you.
Mom
And now we have proof that you took her, Officer Veil.
Mom
It’s all recorded here.
Jacob’s mother holds up her cellphone.
In her other hand is Emily’s toy giraffe. It’s dressed in a police uniform.
Mom
I can’t believe you, an officer of the law, would kidnap a child for…money?
Mom
I’ll be sure to mention that you stole some of it from the police budget to pay a portion of the ransom you were receiving.
Officer Veil
Funny, you didn’t seem too upset with it at the time.
Mom
Excuse me? I had no idea what the proper protocol was in that situation.
Mom
I was so afraid. Naturally, I trusted a POLICEMAN to uphold the law.
Mom
And you didn’t. Instead, you were the cause of my fear in the first place.
Mom
You kidnapped my daughter, Goddammit!
Mom
So instead of trying to transfer the blame, just tell me…
Officer Veil hangs his head.
Officer Veil
She’s in Barn Four.
Jacob’s mother takes off at a sprint.
Jacob
Well, Officer Veil, I have an important call to make to your police chief.
Jacob
You know, the one who gives ‘sound orders’?
Jacob
I wonder what orders he’ll be making now.
After Jacob makes the call, he turns to Celia.
Jacob
I’m really sorry. I never should have blamed you for Em’s disappearance.
Jacob
I was just getting so stressed and —
Celia turns when she hears Emily call her name.
Then, without a moment’s hesitation, she races toward her
And kisses her, soundly on the lips.
When they finally break apart, Emily gives Celia a questioning look.
Celia
I don’t care anymore, okay? I just want to be with you.
Emily
Oh! Okay. I mean, good!
Jacob
So…I guess this…is what that fight was about?
Celia
Yeah. Emily wanted to be a real couple…
Celia
But I didn’t know if everyone would be ready for us to have that kind of relationship.
Jacob wraps Celia in a hug.
Jacob
Of course we’re ready. We’d be lucky to have you date Em, Celia.
Then Jacob winks and puts his arm around Emily.
Jacob
And welcome back, sis.
As the happy couple goes off to canoodle in the corner, Jacob walks up to Rosemary.
He takes slow steps, keeping his eyes glued to her face, mangled eye and all.
When he reaches her, Rosemary is the first one to speak.
Rosemary
So…is this the part in the story when I become beautiful?
Jacob
Nah, it’s too late for that —
And just like the ending of every good tale, the one at Bruinsboro Faire…
