Laney
Good thing I was already dressed up from dinner, or I wouldn’t have gotten in!
Laney
How did you not remember the dress code!?
Dee
Don’t sass me bitch, I haven’t been to the Magic Castle since I was 10.
Laney
Just get a dress on and get back here quick. And DON’T stop for donuts!
Dee
DONUT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE
Laney
Are you serious!? GET HOME! What if we have to drive to another clue soon!?
Dee
Why don’t you solve the first clue before you worry about that
Laney
Okay... I’m at the piano, but nobody named Irma is sitting here to give it to me.
Laney
Actually nobody is sitting at the piano
Dee
Irma’s a ghost or “ghost” if you will
Dee
You ask her to play a song, and the piano just starts playing the song
Dee
You have to ask nicely though. So ask her to play the clue!
Laney
You just want me to look crazy like I’m talking to myself
Dee
Listen, you do an okay job of making yourself sound crazy without my help.
Dee
Just ask her to play something.
Laney
Someone in front of me just asked her to play 50 Cent’s In Da Club
Laney
Holy SHIT. It worked!! AWESOME!
Dee
GO SHORTY! IT’S YA BIRTHDAY!
Laney
There’s one more person in front of me, then I can ask...
Laney
I wonder if I’m going to meet him tonight??
Laney
I’m nervous and I keep daydreaming it’s Steve.
Dee
It’s not Steve, and maybe he’s there right now. Have you been looking around?
Laney
Um...so there’s some dude in a skeleton mask staring at me from the bar.
Laney
He’s creeping me out.
Dee
Maybe it’s just a prop or something
Laney
His arms move, and not like one of those robot people at Disneyland.
Laney
No, which makes things even creepier. What if that’s him??
Dee
If it is, who has two thumbs and said it was probably going to be some weird dude??
Laney
Shut up, it’s my turn. I’m going to try to ignore him.
Laney
She’s playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Dee
Hmmm... Lullaby, stars...night...
Dee
Did you figure out who it is???
Dee
Do I need to call 911 on that dude in the mask???
Dee
WTF!? Where did you go??
Laney
So just as Irma finished the song, I notice that the dude in the mask charging at me...
Laney
Yeah. I scream. He claims he just wants to do a magic trick for me.
Laney
A guard grabs him, yelling about the mask and the dress code.
Laney
He refuses to take the mask off, and gets dragged outside.
Laney
But on his way out, he hands this sick-looking magician guy who he calls Uncle Perry, this piece of paper...
Laney
telling him to hand it to me for his friend.
Laney
Just as the guy is about to give it to me, he projectile vomits all over the piano AND me...
Laney
and then passes out face first on the floor.
Laney
Hello?? You still there??
Dee
Yeah, I’m sorry, I threw myself on the floor laughing.
Dee
DID YOU GET THE PAPER!?
Dee
I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED THAT KIND OF COMEDY!! What does it say?
Laney
“Dreams are like stars; you may never touch them but if you follow them, they will lead you to your destiny. Tomorrow 9PM.”
Dee
Hmmm...both clues have stars in them. Maybe they’re talking about the Walk of Fame?
Laney
You’re kidding right? I’m not figuring this out right now.
Laney
I’m standing in a magic fucking castle covered in vomit...
Laney
after an insane man in a murder mask gave me the next clue.
Dee
You can’t stop now! I want to see how it ends!!
Laney
It probably ends in an abandoned warehouse with me on a meat hook.
Laney
Whoever orchestrated this is a hot mess. And clearly NOT Steve.
Laney
I shouldn’t have gotten so excited :(
Dee
Oh, cheer up, chickee.
Laney
Can you please just pick me up?
Dee
my Mom freaked out about me taking the car without her permission...
Dee
and I’m kind of grounded right now...
Laney
SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET HOME?
Dee
I don’t know...Call your parents? Uber?
Laney
I just spent my last $20 to get IN here, and my parents think I’m at your house!!
Dee
Well, shit...maybe my cousin Joe can come get you?
Laney
HELL NO! The last time I saw him, he sniffed my hair and told me he wanted to eat it.
Dee
Hmmmm...what about that nerd across the street from you?
Dee
Doesn’t he have a car?
Laney
Yeah, but I haven’t talked to him in years. It would be weird.
Dee
I think he’s your only bet right now.
Laney
Are you sure you can’t come get me??
Dee
I wish I could. You know my Mom. Call that guy.
Dee
He once gave me the answers to one of my math exams, he’ll probably do it.
Laney
Fine. I’ll get his number and text him.
202-555-0166
Hello? Is this Ben Crowley?
202-555-0166
Hey...it’s Laney from across the street.
202-555-0166
Listen, I know it’s been awhile, but I need a huge favor.
Ben looks wide-eyed at his phone, then promptly faints
