Alan
So have you figured out what you’re going to do yet?
Ben
I have a few things up my sleeves...
Alan
They better not be Shakespeare sonnets or end with you playing something “romantic” on the ukulele.
Alan
NO DUDE! THAT’S WORSE THAN THE FLASH MOB.
Ben
First of all, who doesn’t love a flash mob!?
Ben
Second of all, it’s only my back up plan.
Alan
You are a fucking apocalyptic chick flick hot mess.
Alan
By the way, the flash mob is complaining there are no snacks, and is there a cut off time here that we give up??
Ben
I don’t want to think about giving up!
Ben
Just tell them pizzas on me after we’re done.
Alan
Dude, you didn’t even have money for a diner hamburger the last time I saw you.
Ben
I will worry about this shit later.
Ben
I can’t feel my feet right now.
Laney opened the door and asked if she looked okay. Ben just smiled.
She looked beautiful. So beautiful, for a moment, he forgot about Steve Mitchell.
Laney
So I’m here, and I’m really really nervous.
Dee
It’s not like you have to worry about what to say to him, just speak in grunts, he’ll understand. ;)
Dee
Seriously though, if this is the dude who has been leaving clues, you could probably greet him with a kick in the balls and be fine.
Dee
Where’s the neighbor?
Laney
He’s going to get us beer.
Dee
You know coming in with a dude, makes it look like you’re taken.
Laney
Steve isn't even here yet.
Ben
Dude, are you there!?
Ben
Shithead isn’t here yet, and I just went to get us some beer, and got side-eyes from like 8 different people, before Madeline Cross said “Aren’t you one of those band geeks?”
Alan
Yeah, dude, that shit is like the scarlet letter, you’ll never get rid of it until you leave town.
Alan
Anyway, maybe he won’t come.
Alan
Or maybe he’s one of those people who just like gets high for four hours and shows up for the end.
Alan
Find a way to get beer.
Ben
He just strolled in...
Alan
Oh shit...what are you going to do??
Ben
She just walked up to him.
Alan
DON’T DO THE SONNETS!!!
Ben
So then what’s the plan??
Alan
I’m just...I’m going to let her be.
Ben
You know, I’m leaving town, and if that’s the guy she likes, he’s going to be here.
Ben
Might as well let her have happiness.
Alan
That’s the most pussy thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
Ben
Yeah, well what else am I going to do?? Can’t force this.
Ben
I’m already on the way back to the car.
Alan
But you don’t even know if it’s working out!
Ben
I don’t want to see it.
A plastic red cup of beer comes flying and hits him in the head.
Ben
And now I’m covered in beer.
Alan
One of those pieces of shit threw beer at you???
Alan
Are you close to the car?
Alan
Because you’re going to want to speed things up.
Alan
I just called the cops.
Alan
Fuck the cool kids! Their asses are gonna get busted.
Laney
Ben! Where did you go??
Laney
I’ve been looking for you. It’s not Steve.
Laney
Just as I was talking about the clues, he looked at me like I had marshmallows growing out of my head, then some idiot cheerleader from HS South ran up to him and practically shoved her hand down his pants in front of me.
Laney
I want to get out of here. You were right. We should’ve gone to Mt. Wilson.
Laney
Do you think there’s still time??
Ben
I’m sure the person will still be there if that’s the right place...
Ben jumps up like he won the Olympic gold.
Then, suddenly police sirens started sounding nearby.
Laney
HOLY SHIT! I THINK THE COPS ARE HERE!
Ben had totally forgotten.
Ben
Okay, stay calm, come and meet me by my car
Laney
I DON’T REMEMBER WHERE YOU PARKED! I WAS TOO NERVOUS TO PAY ATTENTION!
Ben
Just run towards the opposite direction of where we came in, and we can get around from there.
Ben
I’ll meet you by the silo
Laney
I fell! I think I broke my ankle!
Ben
You think you WHAT!? Hold on I’m coming to get you!
Dee
You are the clumsiest bitch I know.
Laney
Don’t rub it in. Ben totally saved me though.
Laney
The cops had just started flashing their flashlights, and he picked me up and ran me out of the woods like he was saving me from the war.
Laney
He’s down in the hospital cafeteria getting me a muffin.
Dee
So I guess you’ll never find out who the clue guy is now.
Laney
I mean, I guess a little. But like you said, he was probably a hot mess.
Laney
Weird. Someone just started blasting that In Your Eyes song from Say Anything in the hallway.
Laney
I always wished someone would stand out my window holding a boombox like John Cusack.
Dee
Okay, banal stuff I don’t need to know.
Dee
I’ll be by to visit tomorrow.
Dee
Gotta watch me some Nashville, before it’s gone forever.
As soon as Laney put her phone down, someone reached into her room and turned out the lights.
Another person walked in with a night sky projector, throwing up stars all over the room.
The music she heard from the hallway got louder, and 12 others came in the room dancing, and lipsyncing to the song.
The second it reached the first chorus, Ben walked into the room holding up a big boombox.
