I FaceTime my best friend, Matthew…
And he answers on the first ring.
Daisy
Matthew! I really need your help — whoa.
Matthew has just gotten out of the shower…
And he’s naked from the waist up.
Daisy
Sorry, looks like this is a bad time.
Daisy
I’ll call back later.
Matthew
Don’t. It’s cool.
Daisy
I can’t talk to you when you’re basically naked.
Daisy
Go find some clothes.
Matthew
I have a towel on.
Daisy
A towel isn’t clothes.
I stare at Matthew for longer than I should.
I mean…his whole torso is on display.
Matthew
Is this distracting you?
Daisy
So, the reason I’m calling is…
Daisy
Just…go put a shirt on.
Matthew
You’re so easy to rile up.
Matthew smirks, but he puts down the phone.
When he returns, he’s got a shirt on.
Matthew
So, what’s going on?
Matthew
How can I help you?
Daisy
Well, I have a little…FaceTime date later.
Matthew
A FaceTime date? With who?
Daisy
This guy Brandon from the coffee shop.
Daisy
I’ve been crazy about this guy for weeks, Matthew!
Daisy
I finally get brave enough to give him my number…
Daisy
And all I get is ‘oh?’
Matthew
I mean…that’s…great.
Matthew
But what do you need me for?
Daisy
Well, I just realized…
Daisy
I don’t know how to talk to guys.
Matthew
That’s not true. You talk to me all the time.
Daisy
Yeah, but…that doesn’t count.
Matthew looks a little hurt.
Daisy
You know what I mean.
Matthew
I don’t know what you’re so worried about, though.
Matthew
Just be yourself.
Daisy
No way. Myself is…boring.
Daisy
I’ll say “hi” and “how are you…”
Daisy
And then be totally silent.
Daisy
Which brings me to my big ask:
Daisy
Can I practice on you?
Matthew
You mean practice your flirting skills with me?
Daisy
Great! Now…pretend you’re Brandon.
Matthew scowls, but then dramatically gets into character.
He drops his voice an octave, a total caricature.
Matthew
Hey, I’m Brandon. I work at a coffee shop.
Daisy
He does not sound like that.
Matthew
Sorry, I don’t know what your dream guy’s voice is like.
Daisy
Just talk normally.
Matthew
So he sounds like me then?
Matthew
Hi Daisy, it’s Brandon.
Daisy
See, this is what I was talking about.
Daisy
I’m already out of things to say.
Matthew
You’re overthinking it.
Matthew
When you’re talking to someone you like…
Matthew
It doesn’t matter what you talk about.
Matthew
It’s about making a connection.
Matthew
Feeling closer to them.
Matthew
Like…remember that time I drove you to your dad’s house…
Matthew
And we got stuck in traffic for, like, three hours?
Daisy
Oh, God! I do remember that.
Daisy
It should have been awful, but…
Daisy
It was actually a pretty fun trip.
Matthew
And I bet you can’t remember what we talked about.
Matthew
You just need to turn your brain off and say whatever.
Daisy
Okay. Let’s try again.
Matthew
Good. This time, ask me a question.
Matthew clears his throat.
Matthew
Hey Daisy, it’s Brandon.
Daisy
Hi Brandon. How was rehearsal?
Matthew
Remind me what kind of rehearsal I was at.
Daisy
Brandon’s in a band.
Daisy
He’s the singer for the Lonely Wallflowers.
Matthew
Wait…you’re talking to that guy?
Matthew
From that crappy emo band?
Matthew
Yeah. They played a party I was at last week.
Matthew
And that singer is such a sleaze.
Matthew
He literally hit on everything in a skirt.
Matthew
I can’t let you go out with him.
Daisy
Matthew, I’m an adult.
Daisy
You can’t tell me who I can and can’t go out with.
Daisy
He’s hot, he was nice to me, and I want to talk to him.
Daisy
So you’re going to help me, or we can hang up.
Matthew
Fine. Let’s go again.
This time, Matthew adopts a total jerk persona.
Matthew
Hi Daisy, it’s Brandon.
Matthew
I sing whiny emo songs with my lame band.
Matthew
Let’s date till I get bored with you.
Matthew
Hope you like herpes.
Daisy
Why are you being like this?
Daisy
You’re supposed to be my friend.
Matthew
I am your friend.
Matthew
That’s why I don’t want you going out with Brandon.
Matthew
He’ll break your heart.
Daisy
Really? That’s why?
Matthew
You know what, Daisy?
Matthew
Do whatever you want.
I try to call him back, but my phone rings.
Daisy
How, um…how are you?
Daisy
How was band practice?
Daisy
Wow, we’re not very good at this, are we?
Brandon
You’re usually so chatty at the coffee place.
Brandon
I thought you would have more to say.
Suddenly, I have no idea what I saw in him.
Daisy
Brandon, I have to go…
He answers on the first ring.
Daisy
I’m so sorry, Matthew.
Matthew
I’m the one who’s sorry.
Matthew
I said those things because…
Matthew
I still don’t like Brandon…
Matthew
But the reason has less to do with him.
Matthew
And more to do with me.
Daisy
What are you saying?
Matthew
I’m saying I love being your friend, Daisy.
Matthew
But I want to be more.
Matthew
I hate the idea of you going on FaceTime dates with Brandon…
Matthew
Or with anyone else.
Matthew
You should have them with me.
Daisy
I think we already went on a FaceTime date.
Matthew
That was a practice date.
Matthew
That’s not what I would do on a real FaceTime date.
Matthew
I’ll call you tomorrow at seven…
Matthew
And you can find out for yourself.
Matthew
What do you say, Daisy?
