I’m wrapping up a morning FaceTime call with my TA, Josh.
He’s bookish and handsome…
With sparkling green eyes.
I watch nervously as he reads over the last bit of my essay.
It’s for the Oxford scholarship program.
Josh is the only person I want to help me…
Because he’s absolutely brilliant.
Finally, he sets the essay down.
Josh
This is really good, Haley!
Josh
All your hard work is paying off.
I breathe a sigh of relief.
Josh
I think just a couple more drafts and it’ll be…
He brings his hand to his mouth…
Haley
Honestly, you’ve been such a tremendous help.
Haley
I wish my other TA’s were like you.
Josh
Well, I wish my other philosophy students were like you.
It’s a moment that seems to last longer than expected.
He hesitates, looking like he wants to say something…
I accidentally knock my mug of tea to the floor.
Haley
I just spilled everywhere!
Haley
Excuse me for a second!
Haley
I have to clean this up!
Josh
In fact, I’m actually going to jump off here.
Josh
We’ll talk next week.
I run to the kitchen to some grab paper towels.
I shout to him off screen from the kitchen.
Haley
Yeah, okay! Sounds good!
I run back into the room and dive to the floor.
I’m trying to get the tea out of the rug.
When, all of a sudden, I hear…
Josh
What is wrong with you?
Josh
Why didn’t you just tell her?
I slowly lift my head to the computer.
Josh is still on FaceTime.
He paces around his room.
And he seems to be talking to himself.
He mimics the chef’s kiss he did.
Josh
What was I thinking?
Josh
How long can you let this go on?
He walks into the bathroom.
Then turns on the shower.
Revealing an unbelievable body:
Six-pack abs and a defined, muscular chest.
And my skin begins to tingle all over.
Josh
Maybe I should call her back?
Josh
Or maybe I should just forget the whole thing.
He reaches for the waistband of his track pants.
And he starts to pull them down.
That’s when I snap back into the reality of the situation.
There’s no time for me to think.
And immediately pulls his pants back up.
I realize at that moment what I’ve done.
I look like a weirdo voyeur.
He runs back to the computer.
Josh
I put my computer to sleep.
Josh
But I totally forgot to leave the video chat.
Haley
I just saw you getting undressed…
Haley
And I had to say something!
Josh
I’m so sorry about that!
All of a sudden, he stops.
Josh
Could you hear me, too?
I half-cringe, half-smile.
I watch his eyes fill with pure terror.
He turns white as a ghost.
Haley
It’s not a big deal or anything!
Haley
Honestly, I’m not even sure what you were saying!
He doesn’t move for a minute.
He slowly goes over to his shirt on the floor.
Josh
I’m going to put my shirt back on now.
Haley
Probably a good idea.
The awkwardness is almost unbearable.
I feel it radiating through my bones.
Finally, he grabs a seat at the computer.
Then takes a deep breath.
Josh
I need to tell you something.
Josh
Over the course of working on your essay with you…
Josh
Well, I’ve developed feelings for you.
Haley
I could’ve guessed that was the case.
Haley
Based on what you were saying just now.
Josh
The thing about it is…
Josh
I mean, ethics-wise.
Josh
How could it not be?
Haley
It’s an interesting philosophical question.
Haley
Sorry, I can’t help myself.
Haley
That’s just where my brain always goes.
Josh
I’m at least interested in your line of thinking here.
Haley
We’re pretty close in age.
Haley
So nothing weird there.
Haley
And technically, you’re my TA.
Haley
And the school year is basically done.
Haley
There’s nothing else to grade me on.
I start to really think about it…
Placing a hand on my chin, deep in thought.
Haley
Perhaps if grades were still involved…
Haley
One could argue that your feelings for me…
Haley
Might inform your ability to grade me fairly.
Haley
Which, of course, would be unethical.
Haley
But seeing as you’re simply assisting with my essay—
Haley
And that’s unrelated to grades—
Haley
That there’s nothing ethically wrong with this situation at all.
A wide smile spreads across Josh’s face.
He shakes his head in amazement.
Josh
You really are a talented philosopher…
Josh
But you’re forgetting one important factor.
Josh
My feelings for you might affect my ability to focus on your work…
Josh
Thus cheating you of a true objective eye…
Josh
Thus potentially hurting your chances for the Oxford scholarship.
Josh
And I can’t let that happen.
Josh
But I can’t help you with your essay anymore.
Haley
But you said it yourself!
Haley
We’re only a couple of drafts away!
Josh
Which is why you’ll be fine without me.
My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach.
My shoulders slump forward in dejection.
Josh
I’m going to set you up with Professor Slater.
Josh
She’ll be a tremendous help to you.
Haley
But I wanted your help.
Josh
You’re getting it right now.
Josh
Just not how you expected it.
He fixes a kind, tender gaze on me.
Josh
Let’s discuss Professor Slater…
Josh
And determine if she’s the right fit for you.
Josh
Perhaps…over dinner?
Josh
If I can’t be your TA…
Josh
Maybe I could be your date?
Hot embarrassment flushes my cheeks.
Haley
Dinner sounds great.
Josh
And I suppose if you had any questions…
Josh
About theoretical essays…
Josh
I could help answer those for you…
I break into a beaming smile…
As I stare adoringly into his twinkling eyes.
Haley
I think I like that philosophy.
