Algernon
I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection.
Cecily
I think your frankness does you great credit, Ernest. If you will allow me, I will copy your remarks into my diary.
Cecily goes over to table and begins writing in diary.
Algernon
Do you really keep a diary? I'd give anything to look at it. May I?
Cecily puts her hand over it.
Cecily
You see, it is simply a very young girl's record of her own thoughts and impressions, and consequently meant for publication. When it appears in volume form I hope you will order a copy. But pray, Ernest, don't stop.
Cecily
I delight in taking down from dictation. I have reached 'absolute perfection'. You can go on. I am quite ready for more.
Cecily
Oh, don't cough, Ernest. When one is dictating one should speak fluently and not cough. Besides, I don't know how to spell a cough.
Writes as Algernon speaks.
Algernon speaks very rapidly.
Algernon
Cecily, ever since I first looked upon your wonderful and incomparable beauty, I have dared to love you wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly.
Cecily
I don't think that you should tell me that you love me wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly. Hopelessly doesn't seem to make much sense, does it?
Merriman
The dog-cart is waiting, sir.
Algernon
Tell it to come round next week, at the same hour.
Merriman looks at Cecily, who makes no sign.
Cecily
Uncle Jack would be very much annoyed if he knew you were staying on till next week, at the same hour.
Algernon
Oh, I don't care about Jack. I don't care for anybody in the whole world but you. I love you, Cecily. You will marry me, won't you?
Cecily
You silly boy! Of course. Why, we have been engaged for the last three months.
Algernon
For the last three months?
Cecily
Yes, it will be exactly three months on Thursday.
Algernon
But how did we become engaged?
Cecily
Well, ever since dear Uncle Jack first confessed to us that he had a younger brother who was very wicked and bad, you of course have formed the chief topic of conversation between myself and Miss Prism.
Algernon
Darling! And when was the engagement actually settled?
Cecily
On the 14th of February last. Worn out by your entire ignorance of my existence, I determined to end the matter one way or the other, and after a long struggle with myself I accepted you under this dear old tree here.
Cecily
The next day I bought this little ring in your name, and this is the little bangle with the true lover's knot I promised you always to wear.
Algernon
Did I give you this? It's very pretty, isn't it?
Cecily
Yes, you've wonderfully good taste, Ernest. It's the excuse I've always given for your leading such a bad life. And this is the box in which I keep all your dear letters.
Cecily kneels at table, opens box, and produces letters tied up with blue ribbon.
Algernon
My letters! But, my own sweet Cecily, I have never written you any letters.
Cecily
You need hardly remind me of that, Ernest. I remember only too well that I was forced to write your letters for you. I wrote always three times a week, and sometimes oftener.
Algernon
Oh, do let me read them, Cecily?
Cecily
Oh, I couldn't possibly. They would make you far too conceited.
Cecily
The three you wrote me after I had broken off the engagement are so beautiful, and so badly spelled, that even now I can hardly read them without crying a little.
Algernon
But was our engagement ever broken off?
Cecily
Of course it was. On the 2nd of last March. You can see the entry if you like.
Shows Algernon her diary.
Cecily
'To-day I broke off my engagement with Ernest. I feel it is better to do so. The weather still continues charming.'
Algernon
But why on earth did you break it off? What had I done? I had done nothing at all. Cecily, I am very much hurt indeed to hear you broke it off. Particularly when the weather was so charming.
Cecily
It would hardly have been a really serious engagement if it hadn't been broken off at least once. But I forgave you before the week was out.
Algernon, crossing to her, and kneeling.
Algernon
What a perfect angel you are, Cecily.
Cecily
You dear romantic boy.
He kisses her, she puts her fingers through his hair.
Cecily
I hope your hair curls naturally, does it?
Algernon
Yes, darling, with a little help from others.
Algernon
You'll never break off our engagement again, Cecily?
Cecily
I don't think I could break it off now that I have actually met you. Besides, of course, there is the question of your name.
Cecily
You must not laugh at me, darling, but it had always been a girlish dream of mine to love some one whose name was Ernest.
Algernon rises, Cecily also.
Cecily
There is something in that name that seems to inspire absolute confidence. I pity any poor married woman whose husband is not called Ernest.
Algernon
But, my dear child, do you mean to say you could not love me if I had some other name?
Algernon
Oh, any name you like--Algernon--for instance . . .
Cecily
But I don't like the name of Algernon.
Algernon
Well, my own dear, sweet, loving little darling, I really can't see why you should object to the name of Algernon. It is not at all a bad name.
Algernon
In fact, it is rather an aristocratic name. Half of the chaps who get into the Bankruptcy Court are called Algernon. But seriously, Cecily . . .
Algernon
. . . if my name was Algy, couldn't you love me?
Cecily
I might respect you, Ernest, I might admire your character, but I fear that I should not be able to give you my undivided attention.
Algernong, picking up hat.
Algernon
Your Rector here is, I suppose, thoroughly experienced in the practice of all the rites and ceremonials of the Church?
Cecily
Oh, yes. Dr. Chasuble is a most learned man. He has never written a single book, so you can imagine how much he knows.
Algernon
I must see him at once on a most important christening--I mean on most important business.
Algernon
I shan't be away more than half an hour.
Cecily
Considering that we have been engaged since February the 14th, and that I only met you to-day for the first time, I think it is rather hard that you should leave me for so long a period as half an hour. Couldn't you make it twenty minutes?
Algernon
I'll be back in no time.
Kisses her and rushes down the garden.
Cecily
What an impetuous boy he is! I like his hair so much. I must enter his proposal in my diary.
Merriman
A Miss Fairfax has just called to see Mr. Worthing. On very important business, Miss Fairfax states.
Cecily
Isn't Mr. Worthing in his library?
Merriman
Mr. Worthing went over in the direction of the Rectory some time ago.
Cecily
Pray ask the lady to come out here; Mr. Worthing is sure to be back soon. And you can bring tea.
Cecily
Miss Fairfax! I suppose one of the many good elderly women who are associated with Uncle Jack in some of his philanthropic work in London. I don't quite like women who are interested in philanthropic work. I think it is so forward of them.
Cecily advances to meet her.
Cecily
Pray let me introduce myself to you. My name is Cecily Cardew.
Gwendolen, moving to her and shaking hands.
Gwendolen
What a very sweet name! Something tells me that we are going to be great friends. I like you already more than I can say. My first impressions of people are never wrong.
Cecily
How nice of you to like me so much after we have known each other such a comparatively short time. Pray sit down.
Gwendolen
I may call you Cecily, may I not?
Gwendolen
And you will always call me Gwendolen, won't you?
Gwendolen
Then that is all quite settled, is it not?
A pause. They both sit down together.
