Sasha
Are you ignoring my calls?
Sasha
Mel? WTF is going on??
Melanie
Sorry. It’s hard for me to talk on the phone.
Melanie
I’ve been hearing this weird ringing.
Sasha
Did you go to Health Services?
Melanie
No…it’s not that bad.
Sasha
Did you tell Anders about the itching and the skin thing??
Melanie
It was super awkward.
Sasha
Where is he? I haven’t seen him in weeks.
Sasha
I think he straight up dropped Prof. Hasbro’s class.
Melanie
He wouldn’t tell me.
Sasha
What a fucking weirdo.
COLLEGE ALERTS: A RARE STRAIN OF MENENGITIS HAS BEEN REPORTED ON CAMPUS.
PLEASE REPORT TO HEALTH SERVICES IMMEDIATELY IF YOU ARE EXPEREINCING ANY OF THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS:
PEELING SKIN, CHILLS, SENSITIVITY TO SOUND, SENSITIVITY TO LIGHT, OR FULL-BODY ITCHING
Sasha
Did you get that message too?
Sasha
Ummmm aren’t those like pretty much the EXACT symptoms you were experiencing?
Sasha
So it’s not an STD.
Sasha
You were worried you’d contracted something from Anders.
Melanie
No, it’s just a rare strain of some disease.
Melanie
That was sarcasm by the way.
Melanie
Anders told me that I have to contact all the people I had sex with since him.
Melanie
I like how he just assumes that I sleep with all these guys.
Sasha
You do have a few gentlemen callers.
Melanie
Yeah but that’s none of his business. It’s not really yours, either.
Sasha
I mean, have you hooked up with anyone since him??
Melanie
Ugh. Kind of. No, I mean, not technically.
Sasha
You have got to tell me!
Sasha
I’ll find out though.
Sasha
So do you want me to come with you to health services or what?
Melanie
Why would I need you to come with me?
Sasha
Because I’m your best friend??
Melanie
I’m not going to health services. I’m fine.
Sasha
Wait, seriously? You HAVE symptoms, Mel!
Sasha
Just yesterday you were complaining about the fluorescent lights.
Sasha
You wore sunglasses to the lab.
Melanie
That was probably a migraine or something.
Sasha
What’s gotten into you M? You’ve always been pro-doctor.
Sasha
You’re studying to be one, after all...
Melanie
I don’t trust Health Services.
Melanie
Dr. Roberts creeps me out, with that weird moustache.
Sasha
Wait. Did Anders tell you something else?
Sasha
It’s a yes or no question, it shouldn’t take you that long to reply.
Melanie
He said not to go. He said they were giving out poison pills.
Sasha
I always thought that dude was a little weird but...
Sasha
all I have to say to that is NOPE.
Melanie
You don’t get it. He told me that this would happen.
Melanie
That they would say it was Meningitis.
Sasha
He’s telling you NOT to go to the doctor. That’s a problem.
Melanie
I knew you’d be like this.
Melanie
Judgy. You hate all the guys I hook up with.
Sasha
I don’t HATE anyone.
Melanie
You do. You always have nasty things to say about them.
Sasha
Robert was a creep.
Melanie
He was eccentric.
Sasha
He would collect the strands of hair you left on his pillow and keep them in that weird box of his.
Sasha
I think that’s a little more than eccentric.
Melanie
It was sweet! And you scared him off when you told him you knew about it!
Melanie
You’re worse than my mom.
Sasha
I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.
Sasha
Also...you should know...
Sasha
I went to Health Services. I took those antibiotics.
Melanie
How long ago was this???
Melanie
Why didn’t you tell me??
Sasha
Like 2 weeks ago...
Sasha
I was embarrassed, ok?
Sasha
That skin thing was gross.
Sasha
I’m texting you, aren’t I?
Sasha
You know, fuck Anders.
Sasha
Spreading his paranoia.
Sasha
We should do something about it.
Sasha
Let’s make him more paranoid.
Melanie
How? He said he was changing phones.
Sasha
But I bet you he’s still checking his Snapchat.
Sasha
Post something on there. Say you took the pills.
Sasha
That you didn’t listen to him. That you don’t think you have much longer.
Sasha
Tell him you love him.
Melanie
He’ll feel so guilty.
Sasha
YES. Omg do it now.
Melanie
Ok. Done. How do I look??
Sasha
You look so…consumptive.
Sasha
Like a Victorian babe.
Sasha
Almost green, actually...
Sasha
That will show him!
Melanie
It’s not bad luck to fake your own death?
Sasha
No one’s faking their own death. You’re just saying you took the pills.
Melanie
Oh my god. Charles Jansen died!!!
Sasha
It looks like it was from meningitis.
Sasha
Wait, did you know him?
Melanie
That was the guy!!
Melanie
The one I hooked up with after Anders!
Sasha
I’m so sorry Mel. That’s just…
Sasha
I don’t even know what to say.
Sasha
Just PLEASE go to health services.
Sasha
They’re saying he went untreated for too long!
Sasha
And that’s why the antibiotics didn’t work!!
Melanie
I’ve got two options here.
Melanie
I can trust the school, and go take their medicine, and maybe die...
Melanie
Or I can trust Anders, and NOT take the medicine, and maybe die...
Melanie
Do you see why I’m freaking out??
Sasha
But I took the pills too! I’m fine!!!
Melanie
That’s true. But still...idk.
Sasha
So you’re trusting some random guy you slept with and not your best friend?
Melanie
I don’t know Sasha. I’ve got some stuff to figure out.
Melanie
I’ll text you soon, ok??
Sasha
I don’t think I could live with myself if I lost you.
