Jordan picks my phone up off the counter.
Then he reads Austin’s text aloud:
Jordan
“Watched the video. You were right, so dumb. Not cool at all.”
Martha
I didn’t say that.
Jordan
So let me get this straight.
Jordan tosses my phone back on the counter.
Jordan
You come home, flirt with me…
Jordan
Make me think there’s something between us—
Martha
Wait. You kissed me, remember?
Jordan
And then go back to Austin’s place and laugh at me?
Martha
No. We never talk about you!
Jordan
If you’re not into me, just say it!
Martha
And I’m trying not to be.
Jordan
He’s got a nice job, expensive suits…
Jordan
Probably a sweet apartment.
Jordan
And I’m living rent free…
Jordan
Working on a career that’s going nowhere.
Martha
That’s not it at all.
Jordan
Oh yeah? Enlighten me.
Martha
When you moved in you barely said hello to me…
Martha
Unless I fell into the staircase.
Jordan
Psht. That’s not true.
Martha
You only hung out with me when I got you into that hip hop party.
Martha
I’m supposed to think that means you like me?
Jordan
We all just want to use you…
Jordan
Now that you’re such a big deal.
He walks toward the staircase.
Jordan
Go back to dating that jerk.
Martha
It’s weird how much you hate him…
Martha
Considering how you’re the one who stole his music.
This stops Jordan in his tracks.
Jordan
Is that what he told you?
Jordan
And you believed him?
Just then, all the lights in the house turn back on.
Jordan looks completely deflated.
Jordan
You know what sucks the most?
Jordan
I thought you might be the one person who really got me.
Jordan
I guess I was wrong.
Just as Deb and Drew walk in.
Deb
We saw that the lights were out…
Deb
So we flipped the circuit breaker.
As I realize that he never flipped the breaker switch.
Jordan looks away from me, and heads to his room.
Drew
Whoa! Were we, like, interrupting something hot?
Martha
Whatever it was, it’s over now.
Drew shoots me a sympathetic look as he follows Deb.
I consider going upstairs to my room.
But on second thought, I walk out the front door…
And sit down on the front porch.
I look at the last text from Austin:
“You were right, so dumb. Not cool at all.”
I shake my head in dismay.
Then I look back at the photo he sent me…
I’m so exasperated that I begin to laugh…
But the laughing quickly turns into crying.
Everyone hates me except Austin.
And he wants me to be a blonde!
It’s a text from Trevor Holt, of all people!
Can this night get any worse?
Trevor
Hey! Did you ever check out that magazine article I gave you?
Apparently, this night *can* get worse.
Martha
The one about how I’ll be single forever…
Martha
If I don’t find someone soon?
Martha
Yeah. No need to worry.
Martha
I found a boyfriend.
Do I even want him to be?
My phone dings with another text from Trevor.
Trevor
But that wasn’t the article I was talking about.
Trevor
The one I wanted you to see was about a group of STEM chicks.
I stand up and run inside the house…
Frantically searching for the magazine.
I quickly find it and flop onto my bed.
I open it to the article that I thought Trevor wanted me to read:
“The Necessary Quest for Love in College.”
Then I flip to the next page.
“STEM CHICKS: Smart Girls Are the New “It” Girls.”
There’s a photo of two beautiful, smart women in lab coats.
It’s another text from Trevor.
Trevor
Anyway check it out.
Trevor
There’s a huge demand for chemistry majors.
I let some stupid article…
That I wasn’t even supposed to read…
Take control of my entire life.
I toss the magazine into a corner…
And collapse onto my bed.
This is a lot to take in.
I realize that none of this was Deb’s fault.
Tears start rolling down my cheek.
Then, on my nightstand, I see an envelope.
Inside are four tickets to the JCA launch…
And the rest are for three friends of my choosing.
I almost forgot that the digital launch party is coming up!
And I have so much to get done.
And try my best to get a good night’s sleep.
It’s the day of the JCA digital launch.
The red carpet has been rolled out at the venue.
Photographers are off to the side…
Setting up their cameras.
I walk down the carpet, wearing a black jumpsuit, grinning to myself.
Photographer
Hey, Red! Can you stop for a second?
Martha
Should I not walk on this?
Photographer
No, stop for a photo.
Photographer
Yeah, I wanna check the light.
I pose, feeling very cool.
The photographer snaps a few pics and looks at the monitor.
I step off the carpet and send a text to Drew.
Martha
Did you give Deb and Jordan the tickets?
Drew
Yeah, Deb is coming, but Jordan has to work.
Drew
Heads up…Deb doesn’t know where we’re going.
Drew
But it’ll all work out. Trust me!
I’m standing next to a very nervous Mr. James…
Waiting for the launch to begin.
Mr. James looks at his watch and lets out a huge sigh.
I look at him, hesitate, and then speak.
Martha
I know you said I didn’t need to finish my report on Kiandra.
I pull a report with a laminated cover out of my purse.
Martha
But I went ahead and did it anyway.
I proudly hand the report to Mr. James.
Mr. James
What do you want me to do with this?
He tosses it on a nearby table…
Just as Tilla and Austin walk up.
Actually, Tilla is hobbling.
Mr. James
It’s about time you got here.
Mr. James
How’s your leg?
As Laura runs up to us, looking harried.
Laura
Kiandra is 20 minutes away!
Mr. James
Great, maybe this night won’t be total s***.
Mr. James
Listen, I’m depending on the three of you to make this launch a success.
Mr. James
If you see something out of place, fix it.
Tilla
Like Martha’s face?
Mr. James
I expect you two to work as a team.
Mr. James
Do not disappoint me.
Laura runs up again, still harried.
Laura
The charity kids are here!
Mr. James
Good. Make sure they walk the carpet.
Mr. James
I want that press!
Mr. James
Martha — nice touch on the charity.
Mr. James
An after-school music program? Perfection.
Laura
Drake’s already here!
With Tilla hobbling behind.
Austin and I are left alone.
Austin
You look breathtaking.
Austin
Seriously. I can’t stop staring.
Austin
How am I supposed to do my job tonight?
Martha
I guess you’ll just have to stop looking at me.
Austin
Hey, did you get a new bikini for our San Diego trip?
Martha
Uh, I’ve looked at a few.
Austin
Just don’t get anything light-colored.
Martha
Why? Will it clash with my hair?
Austin
No, but you’re so pale that it’ll wash you out.
Austin
And I don’t want anyone thinking my girlfriend is a ghost.
He leans in to kiss me, but I pull back.
Martha
You never really asked me.
Austin
I’m the hottest agent in Hollywood.
Austin
I shouldn’t have to ask.
But then turns around for a final comment.
Austin
And quit touching your hair.
Austin
It makes you look nervous.
I’m backstage, organizing show-order sheets…
When Tilla hobbles up to me.
Tilla
Don’t you wanna know why I haven’t told anyone that you maimed me?
Tilla
It’s because I’m impressed.
Tilla
Don’t be. I told you to be ruthless…
Laura runs up, frantic, and hands Tilla a headset.
Laura
Here’s the headset to call the show.
Tilla hands the headset to me.
Martha
Is this some kind of prank?
Martha
I really don’t want to screw this up for your dad.
Tilla
You’ve proved yourself.
Tilla
Besides, I literally can’t walk.
Tilla
Now get out there, b****.
I put on the headset and smile.
I’m still wearing the headset…
Florist
Hey, we ran out of orchids for the centerpieces…
Florist
So we’re just going to substitute carnations. Okay?
I see Tilla witnessing our exchange.
She clearly does not approve of my response.
Martha
Actually, not okay.
Martha
Go find more orchids!
I can tell I’ve redeemed myself.
I see a cater waiter bending over a table nearby.
Martha
Excuse me! There are water spots all over these glasses.
The cater waiter turns around.
Jordan
I’ll get right on that, miss.
Martha
But Drew said you had to work.
Jordan tugs at his black waiter tie.
Jordan
Looks like I’m your employee tonight.
He starts to walk away, but I stop him.
Martha
Wait. I have so many things to say.
Martha
But first — I know you didn’t steal Austin’s music.
Jordan
I’m glad he finally told you.
Martha
I just…know you better than that.
Jordan
Well, you’re right.
Jordan
He stole my music.
Jordan
And then gave it to a different artist.
Jordan
It was a long time ago.
Jordan
I’ve tried to move past it.
Jordan
I don’t want to be childish.
Martha
Jordan, I’m really sorry.
Martha
What I was trying to say the other night…
Martha
And clearly doing a bad job of it…
Martha
Was that until you kissed me…
Martha
I honestly thought you’d barely noticed me.
Jordan
Seriously? I took care of you when you were sick.
Jordan
I drove all over LA with you.
Jordan
I wrote a song for you.
Martha
I guess I just didn’t see it.
Martha
I was so focused on Austin.
Jordan
I am so sick of hearing his name.
Jordan
And now I have glasses to polish.
Though I’m still hurting from Jordan’s words…
I manage to smile and welcome guests as they step off the red carpet.
Then I see Deb and Drew approaching.
Deb sees me, and her face falls.
Deb looks at Drew, fuming.
Drew
I thought the two of you should talk.
Drew
And this party has free drinks! Be right back.
There’s an awkward pause.
Then I break the silence.
Martha
Thanks for coming.
Deb
Well, you tricked me.
Deb
Did you think by inviting me to this stupid party…
Deb
That I was just gonna forget everything you said?
Martha
No. But I would like to do what I should have done weeks ago.
Martha
Will you follow me?
Deb follows me through the crowd.
Who happens to be talking to Zoey…
The leader of the dance team at the studio where Deb works.
Martha
Austin, I want to introduce you to Deb Reed.
Martha
She’s an up-and-coming choreographer…
Martha
Who you should really have your eye on.
Deb looks pleasantly surprised.
She shakes Austin’s hand.
Zoey
Debbie? Is that you?
Zoey gives Deb a condescending smile.
Zoey
Austin, Debbie is our towel girl at the studio.
Zoey
Maybe one day she’ll be a choreographer, but…
Austin joins in. Deb is mortified and stalks off…
Glaring at me as she leaves.
As I try to figure out how to repair this…
I notice Will and Cooper…
The kids from the after-school program…
That I arranged to be part of the event.
I’m about to say hello to them…
When they see Jordan holding a tray of drinks.
Will
Your girlfriend hooked us up!
Jordan
She’s not my girlfriend.
Cooper
What song are you performing tonight?
Jordan
I’m not performing tonight, guys.
Jordan
Just serving drinks.
Jordan
Guys, I gotta go. Have fun.
Jordan walks off with his tray.
Holding too many drinks and a shrimp cocktail plate.
Drew
This party is amazing. Where’s Deb?
Drew
Did you guys make up yet?
Martha
No, and I’ve ruined everything.
Martha
Yup. And somehow, you are my only friend.
Drew
Alright, gotta hit the dessert table.
He’s talking to someone who looks like another agent.
I get closer, then hide behind a plant to listen.
Austin
Thanks, I’m pretty happy now, so I guess it shows.
Austin
My girlfriend is fantastic.
Austin
Just a couple more months of grooming…
Austin
And she’ll fit into my life perfectly.
Then I Laura runs up to Austin.
Laura
Austin, Kiandra’s looking for you!
The sound guy speaks into my headset.
Sound Guy
Martha — we need you backstage.
I’m backstage chatting with the DJ.
Austin appears, looking frustrated.
Austin
She’s going to ruin the show.
Austin
Kiandra. She’s moping in her dressing room.
Austin
I put a ton of work into this new strategy…
Austin
And she’s going to ruin it with a bad attitude.
Martha
Maybe she just needs another month of grooming.
Austin looks confused by my comment.
I knock on Kiandra’s dressing room door.
I open the door to see Kiandra dressed in a pink sparkly costume.
She’s sitting glumly in front of a mirror.
Martha
Hi! Uh, I’m just checking in!
Martha
I’m Martha, I work at JCA.
Kiandra looks at me blankly.
Martha
I loaned you my shoes at the college show.
Martha
You gave me these earrings…
Martha
After you caught me hiding under a desk.
Kiandra
Yeah, yeah. Now I remember you.
Kiandra
You’re the chemistry girl.
Kiandra
You look totally different.
Martha
Thanks! So we’re about 20 minutes to show time.
Martha
And I wanted you to know…
Martha
That everyone is so excited to hear your new single.
Kiandra can’t seem to muster an ounce of excitement.
She answers in a flat voice.
Martha
What a great costume!
Kiandra
Yeah, I look like Taylor Swift.
I notice a bag with the title of Kiandra’s first album on it.
Martha
That’s my favorite album of yours.
Kiandra
Thanks. Can you shut the door on your way out?
But just as I make to leave…
Kiandra has a change of heart.
Kiandra
Hey, chemistry girl. You’re smart, right?
Kiandra
Why do you think people don’t listen to my music anymore?
Is she seriously asking me?
If only Mr. James hadn’t tossed my report.
Then I remember that my iPad is in my bag.
And the report is on my iPad.
Do I dare show it to her?
I walk over to Kiandra and sit down.
Martha
I have something to show you.
And start clicking on it.
Jordan’s song accidentally begins playing.
Martha
No, oh my gosh. Stop playing!
Kiandra
Let me guess, you’re an aspiring singer.
Martha
No! Definitely not!
Martha
That’s my friend’s, er, roommate’s…
Martha
I mean we kissed, and I really like him…
Martha
But he hates me now—
Kiandra is getting impatient.
Kiandra
You wanted to show me something?
Martha
Yes! Okay, don’t get weirded out…
Martha
But it’s a lab report — on you.
She starts reading my report.
Kiandra
This isn’t weird.
Martha
Cool. So, your third album sounded like Rihanna.
Martha
And your second one sounded like Selena Gomez.
Martha
But your first album had its own sound.
Kiandra
That’s because I had no idea what I was doing!
Martha
Yes you did! You were being yourself.
Kiandra
Well, the press hated it.
Martha
Because they made fun of your song titles?
Kiandra
“Your Love is Always Algebra.”
Martha
“Don’t Be So Obtuse.”
Martha
I love those titles!
Kiandra
Then you’re the only one who does.
Martha
You’re wrong! Go to page seven of my report.
Martha
I guess you didn’t do the math.
Martha
There are 63 articles about your first album…
Martha
42 about the second one…
Martha
And only 18 about your last one.
Kiandra
See? People don’t care about me anymore.
Martha
No, people don’t recognize you anymore.
Kiandra looks in the mirror at her own reflection.
Then she looks at my reflection.
Kiandra
My earrings aren’t the right look for you, either.
Kiandra takes the iPad out of my hand.
Kiandra
Why’d you do this report?
Martha
It was an assignment.
Martha
Actually, it’s only interesting thing I’ve done so far this summer.
Martha
My whole point is…
Martha
Your fans loved you for exactly who you were.
Martha
So if you can find your original sound again…
Martha
I’m sure you can win your audience back.
Kiandra
You’re totally right, chem girl!
Kiandra sets down the iPad…
And puts her makeup bag on top of it.
Martha
Uh, that’s my iPad.
But Kiandra is no longer listening to me.
She’s looking at herself in the mirror.
Kiandra starts removing her makeup.
Martha
Okay, I’ll just come back for the iPad later.
Kiandra
And my new song? It’s missing something.
Kiandra
I gotta figure that out.
Martha
Maybe this performance will help!
Kiandra
Oh no, I can’t perform.
Kiandra
I’m not doing any more performances until I fix this.
Kiandra
Thank you so much!
Martha
Um, you’re welcome?
She finishes taking off her makeup and starts packing up.
I back up to the door, trying not to reveal that I’m in a panic.
Martha
Um, in case you change your mind…
Martha
You go on in ten minutes.
Kiandra
You can tell the team that I will not be performing tonight.
I shut the dressing room door and continue panicking.
The sound guy talks into my headset.
Sound Guy
Ten minutes until show time.
Sound Guy
Do we have eyes on Kiandra?
Martha
Uh, yeah, we may need a few extra minutes.
Martha
Lemme get back to you.
I take off my headset and walk down the hall.
I open a door into a back alley.
I try to catch my breath.
Then I sit on a folding chair next to a smoke-break area.
I finally fall apart and start sobbing.
And Deb and Drew walk out.
Deb
I told you this wasn’t the exit.
The two of them notice me sitting there.
Deb
Trying to trick me again?
Deb
Come on, let’s go inside.
Deb
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Drew
Be the better person.
Deb considers this, then kisses Drew on the cheek.
Drew heads back inside as Deb makes her way to me.
Deb sits on the other chair.
Martha
I’ve ruined everything.
Martha
I’m a terrible person.
Martha
Kiandra is refusing to go on stage…
Martha
Because I gave her a lab report telling her she lost herself.
Deb
Ooh, that’s a doozie.
Martha
I’m sorry I turned into a self-absorbed monster.
Deb
You’re not a monster.
Deb
And I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you when you needed me.
Martha
I don’t care about being cool or being an agent.
Martha
And Austin is a huge jerk.
Martha
I just want to go back to being a nerd…
Martha
And your best friend.
Martha
Will you take me back?
Deb
I don’t care if you’re a chem major or a Hollywood agent…
Deb
Or if you’re single or hopelessly in love.
Deb
You’ll always be my best friend.
The sound guy blares through my headset.
Sound Guy
Any updates on the show time?
Martha
I can’t believe I thought I could do this.
Deb
Are you kidding? Of course you can!
Martha
I literally talked the performer out of performing.
Deb
It’s a party full of performers!
Deb
Can’t you get someone else to do it?
Then an idea comes to me.
Martha
Deb — is there any chance you could be ready to perform in…
Deb rips off her dress, revealing a dance costume.
Deb
I always come prepared to dance.
Martha
You go get Jordan. I’ll get the music.
Passing a beautiful blonde model.
Martha
Can you deliver a message for me?
I quickly write my message down on a piece of paper…
And tell Jana who to give it to.
Then I burst into Kiandra’s dressing room.
She’s listening to Jordan’s song on my iPad.
Martha
Perfect. I need that—
Martha
It’s okay that you don’t want to perform.
Martha
And I’ll probably fail my internship for what I’m about to do.
Kiandra
But your friend’s song—
Martha
I’m finally going to trust in myself.
I leave the dressing room…
Just in time to see Jana, the model, walking up to Austin.
Once again, I hide behind a plant and listen.
Jana
I have a message for you from Martha.
Jana reads off the piece of paper I gave her.
Jana
Martha says, “I can’t go with you to San Diego…"
Jana
“Because I don’t date arrogant liars."
Jana
"Then put your middle finger up." Oh!
Jana realizes that she was supposed to DO that action…
And she flips him the bird.
Jana
Uh, just so you know…
Jana
I happen to love San Diego.
And handing him the iPad with Jordan’s song on it…
As Deb drags Jordan backstage.
Jordan
What’s this about?
Jordan
What is it? Do you have more glasses to polish?
I take off Jordan’s black tie and unbutton his shirt.
Martha
Listen, I know you’re mad at me.
Martha
And we can talk about that later.
Martha
But there isn’t time for you to be angry right now.
Jordan
You’re telling me when to be angry?!
Martha
You’re not a waiter.
I nod to the DJ, who begins playing Jordan’s song.
I push Jordan out on stage…
Just as Tilla hobbles backstage.
Tilla
What are you doing?
Martha
She’s refusing to perform…
Martha
So I found someone who will.
Tilla
You’re crazy! Give me that headset.
Tilla
What is wrong with you, loser?
Martha
Like you always say:
Martha
“Work with what you got.”
Tilla
And what do YOU got?
Tilla yells into the headset.
Tilla
Can someone get those people off the stage?!!
I take off the hoop earrings that Kiandra gave me…
Martha
Here, you can have these, too.
On stage, Jordan is performing his song.
He’s nervous at first, but he warms up fast.
Deb is dancing as she’s never danced before.
The crowd appears to be pleasantly surprised.
I hear someone say, “this guy’s pretty good.”
Drew is eating when he notices Deb on stage.
I head backstage and see Mr. James.
I try to blend into the curtain.
Mr. James
Tilla! Get those hacks out of my party.
Tilla is coming unhinged.
She’s screaming into the headset.
Tilla
I don’t care how you do it.
Tilla
Just get them off the stage!
Just then, Kiandra appears backstage.
Mr. James
Kiandra! What the heck is going on?
Kiandra
It’s all part of my show.
Kiandra winks at me as she whispers to the DJ.
The DJ nods and hands Kiandra a mic.
Kiandra stands next to me.
Kiandra
I was trying to tell you…
Kiandra
I really like your friend’s song.
Perfectly on beat, Kiandra’s song rips into Jordan’s.
Both songs play simultaneously.
Kiandra and Jordan sing together…
That he rips open his button-down…
To reveal a Kiandra t-shirt.
Drew
Woo! My girlfriend’s on stage with Kiandra!
Meanwhile, Austin stands with Jana, watching in disgust.
Another agent leans over.
Agent
Hey, is that your client?
Austin
No, I’d never rep that guy.
Agent
Good. Because I’m signing him tonight.
Deb hits an awesome dance move. She looks great.
Zoey, the dance studio team leader, watches Deb.
She leans over to one of her dancers, Vera…
Who came with her to the event.
Zoey
Who’s that dancer up there?
Vera
You make her wash the towels.
Zoey
Well, let’s make sure she joins our team.
Tilla and Mr. James are fuming, but helpless.
With pride from behind the curtain…
I watch the stellar performance.
The song comes to a close.
Kiandra takes Jordan’s hand and lifts it up.
Kiandra
This is Jordan Linn, everybody!
The crowd’s applause becomes thunderous.
I run out onto the stage and wrap my arms around Jordan.
He enfolds me in his arms.
And that’s the moment I realize…
That you’re not ready to find love…
Until you’re ready to accept yourself for who you are.
