I reached home by a cab and poured a drink for myself while leaning over the counter. I kept my legs closed for a whole year, I barely made contact with men unless I was killing them, I never found anyone attractive as I was devoted to Leander and now, after learning that he clearly wasn't, I was devastated.
My head whipped around at the sound of shoes thumping down the stairs. Looking up, I found Gwen coming toward me.
"How did the shopping go? Did you have fun?" She asked, stepping inside the kitchen. Her eyes wandered to the glass I held in my hand and she let out a long breath, "It didn't go well?"
"It was okay," I turned around and pressed my back against the counter. "Until I learned that Leander appointed a young female Beta and he had been working with her all this time."
"I suppose you're talking about Melissa, "
I nodded my head, "Do you know her?" My throat burned as I took another sip of the drink while wondering about that female Leander had been cozying up to.
Gwen hesitated for a second before she mustered up and spilled out the truth, "Melissa had been around a few times. Alpha had chosen her as the Beta even when the males disagreed. I'm not a fan of her but I'm sure he doesn't see her that way and whatever you're thinking might be wrong." She stepped closer to me and the black in her eyes grew. "He mourned you and his lost child for months and months, Hycinth." Her hand touched my shoulder as she reminded me. She was trying to change the topic we were on.
And I wasn't sure about that.
When Leander told me he hadn't fucked Mellisa , a part of me didn't believe him. Something inside me didn't trust his words for the first time ever.
"What happened to Ever, I nolo....", Just as l started, the main door to the house creaked open and I quickly placed my glass among the other dirty dishes. It was Leander.
Gwen stepped out of the kitchen to attend him who had just reached inside.
"I just want to speak to her. Where is she?" He asked, his voice low and tired.
Gwen informed him that I was in the kitchen and soon, his footsteps approached me. I quickly patted my cheeks a few times and dried my watery eyes before seeing him.
"Hycinth," He called out my name like every time he did when something was terribly wrong.
I turned around and faced him, "There is nothing I want to talk to you about. I am tired and I would just like to go to my room and get some rest." I stated without taking another breath. My head was pounding and I was too exhausted to deal with his lies.
Leander looked at me with sorrow in his eyes, "I didn't fuck her. I swear by you." He said, taking my hands and pulling them to his chest. "I would never betray you and if it makes you feel better, I'm not even attracted to her. She's only the Beta because of her skills and her strength." He explained to me.
I looked straight into his eyes while a frown appeared over my lips, "Don't fucking lie to me." I straight up said.
"I'm not lying." He blew out a breath filled with frustration.
"Do you think I'm stupid, Leander? Do you really think I'm that stupid little girl that watched you kill her father, without a clue what was happening in this world?" I asked him and an uncomfortable silence followed as I finished. My voice echoed in the four walls of the kitchen.
I glanced up at Leander, studying his face and there was only guilt spread across it. His eyes lowered and he whispered, "She kissed me once. It was a while ago."
My heartbeat pounded in my ears as everything I believed in became true. I wasn't wrong. I wanted to be but I wasn't. I knew something was going on between him and Mellisa the minute I saw her face. She was fresh meat, something Leander could never resist.
I pursed my lips and without saying anything, I stepped out of the kitchen. My name echoed in my ears as he called for whilst I ignored him and went upstairs.
Just before I stepped up on the stairs, I found Gwen, standing in the shadows. She had overheard us. Her face was flushed with sympathy for me.
"Hycinth. Listen to me." I heard his voice behind me as he followed me up the stairs.
I went quicker, hoping to reach my room and shut it close before he could get to me. I didn't want to talk to him nor hear any of his explanations.
By the time I reached the door to my bedroom, I heard Leander reaching into the hallway and walking closer to me. His voice was laced with worry and tension. "You left me, Hycinth." He said, out of nowhere.
I froze on my steps and turned around, "Yes, I left you but not once you came looking for me, not once you reached out. Yes, I begged for time but if you had the decency to reach out for once, I would've returned, a very long time ago." I snapped at him, my emotions spiraling all at once. "Either way, we were supposed to be mates. I fought every urge to sleep with strangers but the first chance you got, you kissed someone knowing it would hurt me. Were you even expecting me to return ever? Do you even want me anymore, Leander? What am I doing here?" I asked while stepping closer and ending the distance between us.
"I didn't kiss her," Sweat beaded on his temples as he crept closer to me. He shook his head and continued, "I wasn't aware of her intentions and it was once, it was a mistake. I stopped her, Hycinth , you know I would never kiss her."
I sucked in a breath through my clenched teeth while trying to remain calm, "It doesn't matter anymore. Whether she did it or you, something still happened and I'm hurt." I tried not show it-the pain but it was there.
"I'm sorry," His voice croaked and he stepped forward, "I love you and I didn't reach out because I was afraid of being dumped again. I lost something too, Hycinth. I was hurt as well, maybe not as much as you were but I was and you made it worse by leaving-"
I cut him off before he said anything anymore, "So you are telling me this is all my fault? I shouldn't have left?" My voice rose and my anger heightened, gripping my head from all sides.
"You shouldn't have!" He exclaimed, "I would have done any fucking thing to make sure you were healing. I would have given you anything in this world, I would have loved you, I would have made you forget everything every horrible thing but you didn't let me. You left me, you ran away from everything and you shouldn't have." His body hurled forward to me while his arms flashed in front of me as he spoke.
I found him in a position I had never seen him before.
Did I do wrong by leaving? I had asked myself the same question a thousand times over the past year but I never found the answer to it. I thought I needed to run and heal on my own but at the same time, I did wrong with Leander. I became selfish, I only thought about myself and what I needed to do.
I sniffed and my nostrils flared while I stood still next to Leander. "What's done is done..." I trailed off before spinning around and reaching for the doorknob.
He wrapped his hand around my arm, pulled me away from the door, and forced me to stay still near him. His tall frame hovered over mine while he gripped onto me tightly. "Exactly. What is done is done, Hycinth. I made a fucking mistake and I apologize for that." He cursed, regret clear in his tone. "Forgive me if you can. You know well there is no one that can take your position in my heart. I loved you once and I'll love you forever."
"I don't believe you." I stated, my teeth still clenched.
"I don't feel it. I want to but I don't. I feel as if you have moved on and I'm here for another purpose." I raised my head, meeting with his remorseful eyes. "I want to feel you, Leander. I want to feel the love you claim to have for me. I want to know if this is over or not and I won't know until I feel it for myself."
"I killed a goddamn Alpha for you!" He exclaimed out of frustration.
"I don't know if you killed him for me or to satisfy yourself." I shrugged.
Anger flashed in his eyes, "Are you fucking kidding me?" His hold tightened around my arm. "I killed a whole person for you. Isn't that enough for you to feel that I still fucking love you?"
"No." I lined my lips straight.
A low growl slipped from his throat before he pulled me toward the door. With a still pounce, he pushed open the door and dragged me inside the room with himself. Freeing me, he closed the door behind me and then cornered me to the wall before his hand came wrapping around my throat.
"You will feel everything when I bury myself inside you."
