Ryan
Hey baby girl. I’ve been thinking of you all day!
Ryan
My parents are gone for the weekend. Want to party?
Ryan
Like I said, I’ve been thinking of you all day!
Megan
What about the other girls?
Megan
Have you been thinking about them too?
Megan
The other girls on your text.
Megan
You know I can see that you sent that same text to eight other girls right?
Megan
It’s a group text. We can all see each other’s names Romeo
Ryan
But it was you that I was thinking of!
Megan
Ha! You think I’m about to fall for that?
Megan
I bet you’re telling the same thing to Teresa, Michelle, Jessica
Ryan
No baby girl just you
Ryan
Those girls don’t compare to you…
Megan
Is that about every girl you know?
Ryan
Come over here and I’ll apologize ;)
Megan
will I have to wait in line behind the other girls that you texted?
Ryan
No. I’ll bring you to the front of the line.
Ryan
you’re my first choice
Megan
wow haha. I feel so special.
Ryan
you should. You’re number one
Megan
Why cause no other girls texted you back?
Ryan
they’re probably busy right now
Megan
yeah probably busy laughing their asses off
Megan
or busy escaping the country
Megan
or getting a restraining order
Megan
or busy driving to a bridge to throw their phones off it
Megan
or suicide bombing their cell phone providers...
Megan
so they’ll never get another text from you again
Ryan
Number four now and slipping
Ryan
You never answered my question
Megan
you had a question?
Ryan
yeah. You want to party this weekend?
Megan
haha I thought I made that clear
Megan
That that’s not going to happen
Megan
Do you have the short term memory of a goldfish???
Megan
Because you texted the same invitation to eight different girls.
Ryan
I was just playing the odds
Megan
It’s a psychotic game
Ryan
we can watch a movie and do other things
Megan
Hungry hungry hippos?
Megan
for me it would just be sad and depressing.
Megan
and you’re delusional.
Megan
did any of the other girls text back?
Megan
really? Tell the truth…
Megan
I can text them myself and ask them. I have their numbers too
Ryan
and you just texted back to make fun of me
Megan
and to laugh at you
Ryan
I’ll never get a girlfriend
Megan
not by acting like this you won’t
Megan
stop trying to be a player. Girls don’t want that.
Megan
They want someone that will talk to them. That will listen to them
Megan
Get to know the girl first before you jump down their throats asking for sex.
Megan
That’s not how girls think.
Megan
well for starters don’t go after more than one girl at a time...
Megan
and for the love of God stop with the group texting.
Megan
That’s enough to make any girl run away screaming
Megan
well I am a girl. I do have some insider knowledge.
Ryan
So why don’t you come over on the weekend and help me out
Megan
I thought we went over this…
Ryan
not for that! I mean give me some pointers, help me be a better catch.
Megan
I don’t know. You just may be hopeless…
Ryan
No! I want to learn. Please!
Ryan
I can’t die a virgin.
Megan
Okay fine. I like a challenge and you can be my little project.
Megan
as long as you keep your hands to yourself!
Megan
Rule number one: Don’t ever call a girl that you haven’t been dating for a long time ‘baby girl’
Megan
what is that? No one likes to be called that!
Megan
And cut your hair. You have a good looking face.
Megan
Stop hiding it with that messy hair.
Megan
I didn’t say that. And get some new clothes while you’re at it.
Megan
fitted clothes. Enough with the baggy shit. That doesn’t suit you…
Ryan
I won’t change for any girl.
Megan
fine, then be a virgin for the rest of your life.
Ryan
okay I’ll go to the store now!
Ryan
Want to come with me?
Ryan
yeah come with me. It will be fun
Megan
What’s in it for me?
Ryan
You can be the first to get to know the new me.
Ryan
You can take credit for my transformation when I become the hottest guy at school.
Ryan
you can enjoy my sharp intellect and witty sense of humor
Ryan
I’ll buy you a new pair of shoes.
Megan
Definitely not a date.
Ryan
I’ll pick you up in thirty minutes
Megan
Okay. But it’s not a date
Megan
I’ve seen. It’s not a date.
Ryan
Wait until I get my haircut and new clothes…then we’ll talk.
Megan
We have a lot of work to do…
