Oh Baby - Episode 2
by Kayla Parent
The next morning…
I pull into the cafe parking lot at 6:59 am.
My stomach bug is gone…
But my mood is completely sour.
Partners with Ben Watson…HA!
It’s utterly ridiculous. He and I are like oil and water.
We’re opposites in every way.
What could Donaldson have been thinking?
All Ben likes to do is pull pranks and make fun of people.
He’s never taken anything seriously.
He always—
A car door slams beside me, interrupting my thoughts.
I look over and there’s Ben…
Leaning against his car with a big smirk on his face.
The baby is tucked haphazardly under his arm.
I angrily get out of the car and lunge for him.
That’s no way to hold a baby!
Give her to me!
He holds up a hand to stop me, still smiling.
Whoa, whoa. Lemon Head doesn’t even know you.
You should wait for an introduction.
NOW, Ben.
I lunge for the baby again, and this time he doesn’t stop me.
I glare at him, before cutting my eyes down to her.
…Aww.
Tasha was right, these babies are kind of cute.
I can’t help the small smile that takes over my face.
I was right about the lemon head thing.
Admit it.
He was.
But pigs will fly before I ever tell him that.
Okay, first up…
We’re giving her a proper name.
But let’s go inside. I need to be sitting down for this.
I turn from him and head toward the cafe door.
I find a booth in the back away from other customers.
This probably won’t be a smooth conversation.
It never is between Ben and me.
He’s still smiling when he slides in across from me.
So what do you want to name her?
I know you’ve thought about it.
I have.
But it pisses me off that he knows it.
How do you know if I’ve thought about it or not?
He raises a brow.
Because I’ve gone to school with you for 13 years.
You’re never unprepared.
Once, you turned a project in a month ahead of time.
Once—
Okay, fine! I’ve thought about it.
I think Elizabeth is a perfectly acceptable name.
His brown eyes narrow.
Yeah, for the Queen of England.
It’s sophisticated!
It’s boring.
How about South East?
Excuse me??
You know, like Kim and Kanye’s baby.
I thought directional names were in these days.
I curl my lip at him in disgust.
No.
But I’ll compromise with you.
We can call her Lizzy.
He pretends to think it over.
We call her Lizzy Lemon.
And you’ve got a deal.
I pinch the bridge of my nose…
Then look down at the baby.
Her lips are turned up at the corners, as if she’s amused by all this.
At least someone is.
Deal.
But don’t call her that in front of Donaldson.
Deal.
Great. Now that that’s settled…
I reach into my bag and pull out a plain, white onesie.
I lay Lizzy on the table and start taking off the Taco costume.
Hey! She likes that outfit!
She’ll like this one better. It’s practical.
Ben rolls his eyes.
It’s lame. It doesn’t have any fun colors or shapes on it.
I can feel my patience thinning.
He needs to get his priorities straight.
Who cares about colors and shapes?!
Now, what do we need to do for the project?
Let’s plan our schedule.
I take a moment to gather my hair into a ponytail.
When I smooth it down, I notice Ben’s watching.
He clears his throat.
Right um…
He reaches into his bag and grabs a piece of paper.
So during the school day, one of us must have the baby at all times.
If we’re seen without her, we get docked points.
I nod. Easy enough.
And the baby always has to be in view.
We can’t put it in a backpack or locker, or we lose points.
If anything happens to the baby…
We lose points.
I scowl at him.
Probably shouldn’t throw it around like a football then, huh?
Any decent person would probably express some sort of guilt at this comment.
But Ben just smirks and continues reading.
Lastly, we need to fill out a personalization packet.
With pictures and descriptions of activities we do together. Stuff like that.
Then when that’s all done, Donaldson interviews us.
That’s when we have to give each other an assessment.
I snatch the outline from his hand and reread all the information.
I’ll take care of the activities part.
I’ll take some shots of she and I together at the park and stuff.
He gives me a strange look.
Uhh, I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to do all this stuff together.
Um no. I’m not spending any more time with you than I have to.
I see a flash of hurt in his eyes…
But I must have imagined it…
Because his telltale smirk takes over seconds later.
You wound me, Mel.
He yawns and snatches Lizzy from my arms.
I’ll take her the first half of the day and give her to you at lunch.
We switch off nights.
Sound good?
I don’t want him telling me what to do.
But that arrangement works best for me, since I have lab in the mornings.
Fine.
Just don’t screw this up for me, Watson.
I’m warning you.
He smiles down at Lizzy…
Then up at me.
Relax.
What could go wrong?
App