Unknown
We met the other month on the Ashley Madison dating site.
Adam
Okay. You want to give me more details lol?
Unknown
Yeah, that’s okay. You probably talk to a lot of women.
Adam
Maybe you’d like to send me a sexy pic to remind me?
Unknown
So, you’re busy at the bank on Park St? Nice purple tie by the way.
Unknown
Not as nice as the blue paisley you wore yesterday.
Adam
Are you stalking me?
Unknown
I like to call it due diligence.
Adam
Listen, I don’t date psychos, so I suggest you leave the premises
Adam
And make no mistake, I will have you removed if you don’t
Unknown
I will go under one of two conditions.
Adam
Yeah, and what are those.
Unknown
The first, is that you strip naked right now, stand on your desk, and paint an A on your chest
Unknown
Or you call your wife and tell her about all your affairs.
Adam
I don’t have a wife.
Unknown
Oh so you were just going on the premiere cheating sight for fun?
Unknown
And yes you do, Angela Irving 64 Walnut Lane. Cute house btw
Unknown
So what’s it going to be?
Adam
It’s going to be me calling security and the cops
Unknown
I wouldn’t do that.
Unknown
Look above your head, you should see something flashing on the ceiling.
Unknown
One wrong move, and your office goes boom
Unknown
So I really think calling them might be a conflict of interest.
Unknown
Would you like me to test the one on your BMW in the parking lot?
Adam
How much money do you want?
Unknown
Money is too cliché. I want to humiliate you like you humiliated me
Adam
How did I humiliate you?
Unknown
You humiliate me and women everywhere, because YOU ARE A LIAR
Unknown
I put a red can of paint beneath your desk. See it?
Adam
If you touched anything else in my desk, I swear to God
Unknown
So? Strip naked, stand in the lobby, giant painted A
Unknown
Or option B. Tell her about all your scumbag affairs.
Adam
I didn’t actually meet up with anyone, I was just curious.
Unknown
I hacked into your email account, it says otherwise.
Unknown
There are pictures.
Unknown
I have very little tolerance for people like you
Unknown
So which one is it
Unknown
You’re full of shit.
Unknown
Did you hear that boom? That was your BMW
Unknown
STAY AT YOUR DESK
Unknown
Now what will it be?
Unknown
You have five minutes.
Adam
I made the call, now you can go to hell
Unknown
Funny, because the phone never rang.
Unknown
I should’ve mentioned that Angela and I are hanging out right now.
Unknown
Am I? Call Angela’s phone. I’ll take the gag out of her mouth.
Unknown
I’m surprised you care so much, given how much you lie to her.
Unknown
Anyone who truly loves someone doesn’t do what you do
Unknown
I’ll give you all the money we have here
Unknown
You know what you have to do, in order for that to happen.
Unknown
And know if you do nothing, she dies too.
Unknown
Stop crying, she’s alive. For now.
Adam
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS???
Unknown
Because you need to learn a lesson.
Unknown
Now what’s it going to be?
Unknown
Public embarrassment? Or telling your wife the truth?
Unknown
Figures you’d care about your reputation more.
Unknown
After all you just got that big promotion.
Unknown
Again, you have five minutes. I’ll be listening.
Adam
After this is over, I’m going to find out who you are and take you down.
Unknown
There will still be a bomb over your head after you hang up, so watch your mouth
Unknown
Wow, you are telling a really compelling story. Make sure you mention her bff Ann, you banged.
Adam
Are you happy now? You ruined my life
Unknown
You actually ruined your own life
Unknown
Unfortunately, you thought you avoided public embarrassment, but you didn’t
Unknown
Go to the URL adamirvingisanadulter.com
Unknown
Now wave at your computer screen. That phone call was broadcasted live across the internet.
Unknown
That’s me waving at you with your wife!
Unknown
We met when I bought your couch off craigslist
Unknown
I did one of those Ashley Madison email scans, and your email came up.
Unknown
I thought I’d tell your wife, and then we became friends!
Unknown
BTW don’t bother calling the bomb squad, that’s just a new fire alarm above your head. :)
Adam
I’M GOING TO SUE YOU
Unknown
Have a good day LOL!
