Santa
No. But I’m what you wished for.
Santa
Maybe next month when you turn 16.
Jane
I got it! A new phone!
Santa
It’s better than that!
Jane
What can be better than that?
Jane
That’s sweet, Alex. But I rather the candy.
Jane
Like what you got me last year.
Jane
How many times do I have to tell you that your pranks don’t work?
Santa
This is no prank, beautiful.
Jane
Beautiful? You call me cutie.
Santa
Well, that’s proof that I’m not your BFF Alex.
Santa
Never said it would be.
Jane
You’re a clever one.
Santa
Not at all. You’re the A student.
Jane
Okay, you know me. You can stop dropping hints.
Jane
So I’m assuming you want me to guess who you are, right?
Jane
So you have to be in my grade. That narrows it down. Kind of.
Jane
It can take all day.
Santa
Ask for more clues.
Jane
How many can I ask for?
Santa
As many as you like as long as I agree to answer.
Santa
Not answering that one.
Jane
I don’t remember being told that Santa was annoying.
Santa
And gorgeous. Don’t forget gorgeous.
Jane
Are you in any of my classes?
Jane
That narrows it down some.
Jane
Yeah. I basically have the same group of people in my Math, Science, History and English class. Spanish and Art is a mix with the juniors but you’re 15 so that takes them out. Then there’s P.E.
Jane
So basically I can go down that list.
Santa
You forgot another class.
Santa
The only other one.
Jane
I don’t take any other class.
Jane
Are you talking about playing hockey? That’s after school.
Santa
Not talking about hockey.
Jane
I don’t take anything else.
Santa
It’s a class to me. It’s when I study.
Jane
And you can’t use lunch! That’s when all of the sophomores eat!
Jane
Okay, fine. Are you in any of my classes besides lunch?
Jane
I’m going to have to ask individually, aren’t I?
Santa
It might be easier if you ask me of my intentions.
Jane
Yes! Okay. That narrows it down a lot.
Jane
If you’re not in my science class then that means you’re in chemistry. That makes you one of the smart ones.
Santa
This would be faster if asked me of my intentions.
Jane
There’s Tina, Zhang, Jennifer, Jennifer C, Pablo, Arjun and Ben. Which one are you?
Jane
There’s no one else!
Santa
You should ask of my intensions.
Jane
Everyone else in that class is in my other classes.
Santa
What did you do all of last week?
Jane
Worked on the midterm project.
Jane
The other science class! Because we partnered up!
Jane
This is getting too hard.
Santa
Ask me of my intensions!
Jane
I don’t need your help!
Jane
Who’s in that class?
Santa
Why are you so stubborn?
Santa
Would you ask me already?
Santa
This is going to take all day.
Jane
No, it won’t! There are only 15 sophomores in that class.
Santa
This is getting out of hand.
Santa
I am someone part of the secret Santa!
Jane
Only four of us did that.
Jane
So you’re Marc, Amy, Ying or Melissa?
Jane
And…that means you’re Ying?
Santa
When I typed “and” I meant something else.
Santa
Jane, there are other people you are missing.
Santa
There’s like four more of us.
Santa
Did Amy not tell you?
Santa
I see why this is hard now.
Santa
Amy added four more of us. She said she would tell you.
Jane
When did she do this?
Santa
Last week. She didn’t tell you when she gave you your secret Santa pick?
Santa
That’s forgetful Amy.
Jane
So whom else did she add?
Santa
You know what, I think I’m going to back out of this.
Santa
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Santa
If I tell you, you’ll guess right.
Jane
Wasn’t that the point?
Santa
Yeah but now it’s different.
Santa
Because you had to guess. Now, it’s like I’m saying it.
Santa
So I’m too self-conscious now.
Santa
Nothing. I’m going to back out. I’ll see you.
Jane
You can’t leave me like that!
Jane
Sorry, my butt! You need to explain yourself!
Santa
I’m sure Amy will tell you. When she remembers.
Jane
I want you to tell me.
Santa
Let’s just forget it.
Jane
Hold on for a moment and don’t you go anywhere.
Santa
What are you doing?
Santa
You’re making me nervous.
Jane
You first identified yourself as Santa. Then you said that you were what I wished for.
Santa
You scrolled back up?
Jane
And I said a lot of different examples of things I wanted but none of them were the correct answer.
Santa
Please, let’s forget this. PLEASE.
Jane
Then you said it’s something better.
Santa
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Santa
I was only kidding.
Jane
Listen Santa, you need to come straight with me because if I’m going to find out from Amy either way, what’s the point of hiding?
Santa
To hide embarrassment.
Jane
I won’t embarrass you.
Santa
This was stupid. I should have never done this.
Santa
I’m going to regret for the rest of my life.
Jane
It happens to the best of us. Now SPILL IT!
Jane
Hey, you were about to.
Santa
I know but it’s way too hard.
Jane
Stop being a coward!
Santa
Hey, you don’t understand how hard this is!
Jane
Get over it already.
Santa
Okay. I’ll tell you under one condition.
Santa
I don’t have to respond to anything else.
Santa
Once I tell you, I’m not saying another word.
Jane
So you’ll tell me who you are and then no matter what I say, you don’t have to say anything?
Jane
To protect your vulnerability?
Jane
I guess I don’t have a choice.
Santa
Amy added Sonny, Oliver, Michelle and Darren.
Jane
Okay. So I know it can’t be Sonny and Darren because they are a breath away from practically dating.
Jane
And I know it’s not Michelle because all she talks about are boys.
Jane
You have a crush on me?
Jane
Is this where you don’t respond?
Jane
It’s a shame you won’t say anything.
Jane
Because how are two people who like each other ever going to communicate?
Santa
Hey, don’t do that!
Jane
Rules are rules. We can’t talk.
