Still flushed from sex, Violet sat unblushingly naked in the Lotus position, a willowy Buddha on the bed.
She heard Josh close the shower door behind him and wondered whether this might be the day they'd finally conceive.
They'd been trying so hard.
Not that she minded. Making love to Josh was one of her greatest pleasures.
That's how their relationship got jump-started, after all.
She reached for her brush to get the tangles out of her long amber hair and that's when the gun caught her eye.
Josh’s nightstand drawer was slightly ajar and she could see the crosshatch of the wooden grip.
She was seized by the urge to touch it.
She reached into the drawer and pulled out the snub-nosed revolver.
The gun felt light but she knew Josh kept it loaded and the danger gave it heft.
Josh had taken her to the shooting range a few times so the feel of the grip wasn’t completely foreign.
She sighted out the window at a street light.
A shiver ran up her spine. A little fear, a little thrill.
She liked the sensation, as if she could feel Josh's protectiveness surrounding her like a warm blanket.
She heard the shower door open and knew he'd be angry if he found her with the gun.
As she put it back in the drawer, she noticed the box of Trojans they’d bought at the Walgreens six months ago then decided not to use.
Why did he keep the condoms if they were trying to get pregnant?
She reached for the box and dumped it out on the bed.
That’s when Josh stepped out of the bathroom.
He was in his boxers, toweling his hair, his broad torso slack, tanned and damp.
His blue eyes clouded over when he saw the square packets.
Josh
You're counting those.
Violet
It's nothing. I was just, you know, curious.
She saw his neck start to redden, the color blooming toward his face, a thermometer rising.
Josh
Did you find any missing? An accusation, not a question.
Violet
Can’t a girl have a moment of weakness?
She said it teasingly in a vain attempt to cool his ire.
She crammed the condoms back in the box.
She felt his angry glare for an awkward moment before he stepped back into the bathroom.
Violet felt a bolt of fear. What if he left her?
She grabbed the iPhone on his nightstand, thinking a game of Solitaire might settle her nerves.
She heard the metal dial on the bathroom scale bounce to a stop.
She lit up the iPhone and punched in his code. His calendar came up.
The scale dial bounced back to zero when he stepped off.
She was deep into his calendar when he walked back into the room pulling on a black T-shirt.
Josh snapped his smartphone out of her hand.
Josh
Psychiatric records are supposed to be confidential.
Violet
It’s just your calendar book.
Josh
You checking for female patients at the end of the day?
But that's exactly what she was checking.
Last appointment of the day had always been her slot.
The slot that could be open-ended. The hot slot.
Josh
I’ll always be faithful to you.
He bent down to give her a kiss.
She tasted mouthwash. Someone else’s brand.
Violet
I know you'd never seduce a patient.
Again, she thought. After all, that's how they'd started.
But they’d fallen in love. Ethics be damned.
Josh
That's not what you're thinking.
His neck was flushing again.
His sudden fury startled her.
Josh
You snoop around in my calendar.
Josh
You accuse me of sleeping with patients.
Josh
You count my fucking condoms, for Christ’s sake!
The veins in his temples seemed to be bursting through his skin.
Violet
I can’t help that I love you so much! Please, Josh...
His emergency ringtone interrupted her - the all-too-familiar refrain from Help!
She pleaded, but he'd already grabbed it.
For the first time in her life, Violet hated The Beatles.
As he listened he turned his back on Violet.
She tried to rub his shoulders but he batted her hand away.
Josh
Tell her I'll be right there.
The word her smacked Violet's brain like a wrecking ball.
Josh
I’ve got to go to the office.
The office was deserted at night.
That meant he'd be there alone with her.
Panic seized Violet like a full-body cramp.
He headed for the closet to get something to wear.
Violet
Please! Don't go. Not tonight. Not like this.
Josh
For Christ's sake, Violet. It's a crisis call, not a booty call. Get over it.
Violet
Don't leave me like this. Not without forgiving me.
Violet
You're just saying that to get out of here. Are you fucking her?
Josh
Do you really think I'd risk my career for some quick fuck?
Violet
A tiger can't change his stripes.
He sat down to pull on his pants.
Josh
What happened between you and me was no quick fuck. I love you.
Violet
If you loved me, you wouldn't go tonight.
Josh
For Christ's sake, Violet. I married you. Isn't that enough?
Violet
Maybe you married me to make sure I wouldn't testify about how you fucked me in therapy.
Josh shook his head in disbelief as he tied his shoes.
Josh
We go over and over this. Your suspicions are going to kill this marriage.
Her panic erupted. She reached into his drawer and grabbed the gun.
Violet
Don't you leave me!
She stuck the barrel in her ear.
Violet
I swear to God, I'll kill myself.
Josh
You're going to go melodramatic on me when I'm trying to save a patient who really is suicidal?
He stood, adjusting his tie.
Josh
I don't have time for your paranoia.
Josh
We both know you're not going to shoot yourself, so just take a pill and go to sleep.
He took a step toward the door.
He turned to find himself staring down the bore of his own gun in her shaking hand.
He shifted into autopilot therapist mode.
Josh
You're letting your demons do the driving.
Josh
You need to let them go.
Violet took a deep breath.
She shot him through the heart, then breathed a sigh of relief.
