Sara
Mom, you have to help me!
Sara
I can’t get out of bed!
Mom
Oh no! Do you need an ambulance?!
Sara
No…I’m just soooooooooo tired.
Sara
I don’t think I can go to work today.
Mom
Sara! You shouldn’t have scared me like that!
Sara
This IS scary. I LITERALLY can’t get out of bed.
Sara
I think I’m going to have to call in…tired.
Mom
Honey, I don’t think that would go over too well.
Sara
But this bed is like a magnet. A really STRONG magnet.
Sara
You don’t understand how strong it is!
Sara
And the sheets, it’s like they’re madly in love with me.
Sara
We can’t stop hugging each other!
Mom
Sara, were you up late last night?
Sara
Sorry, Mom. I fell back asleep.
Sara
Yeah, I was bingeing on Twin Peaks last night.
Sara
And I didn’t get to sleep until 4 a.m.
Mom
I see. So what you’re saying is, you brought this on yourself.
Sara
No! The TV show did. It wasn’t my fault it was so addictive!!
Mom
Sara, you need to get up and go to work if you want to keep getting a paycheck.
Mom
Even if you’re dead tired.
Mom
I do it all the time.
Mom
Millions of other people do too.
Sara
Okay, Mom. If you say so.
Sara
But what if I moved back home?
Sara
Then I could sleep all day if I wanted to.
Sara
But sleep is IMPORTANT.
Sara
Everyone is always saying that.
Sara
It’s important to your HEALTH.
Mom
Being able to support yourself is more important.
Sara
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my LIFE.
Sara
I made it to work, even though it seemed impossible.
Mom
I’m so proud of you, honey. You’re my hero.
Mom
Is my sarcasm coming through?
Sara
Yeah Mom, loud and clear.
Sara
But you don’t understand what you did to me.
Sara
I thought maybe I could get through the day.
Sara
But there was a big meeting at 10.
Sara
And I fell asleep during it.
Sara
I tried so hard to stay awake!
Sara
I got a quadruple espresso.
Sara
The barista cut me off when I asked for a quintuple.
Sara
Even that didn’t help, though.
Sara
No. It just made it worse!
Sara
Miranda started droning on about budgets and my neck started jerking down.
Sara
I jerked it back up again but then I got sleepy again. My neck jerked back down.
Sara
And then I fell over sideways.
Sara
When I woke up, there was slobber on Bill’s arm.
Sara
And THEN I knocked over my espresso onto his lap.
Mom
Maybe you SHOULD have called in tired.
Sara
You know what really wakes a person up, Mom?
Mom
Well at least you’re awake now.
Mom
Try to get some work done.
Sara
I’ll try, but I’m supposed to be working with Bill.
Sara
And he’s so mad at me.
Mom
Just remember, someday this will all be a hilarious memory.
Sara
Okay Mom, if you say so.
Mom
I’m here. Are you awake now?
Sara
I was for a while, but then I got so sleepy again after lunch.
Sara
I started slouching and slouching in my chair until I slid right onto the floor.
Sara
Yeah, but then my head fell on my keyboard and I feel asleep again.
Sara
There’s a square from the “6” key indented on my forehead now from my sleeping on it.
Sara
And there’s about two-thousand 6’s on my computer screen.
Sara
I think it’s a message from the devil.
Mom
The devil didn’t do this to you. You did it to yourself.
Mom
Can’t you just ride it out?
Mom
You only have a few more hours left.
Mom
Please try to stay awake, Sara.
Mom
You can’t move back home.
Sara
Mom, can you hear me?
Mom
No, because you’re texting me.
Sara
Well if texts could whisper, that’s what my texts would be doing right now.
Mom
I don’t even want to try. Where are you?
Sara
I built a little nap room down here.
Mom
Sara, get out from under your desk right now!
Mom
Your employer is not going to put up with these antics.
Sara
I TRIED to use the lactation room.
Sara
But only nursing mothers are allowed in that room.
Sara
Isn’t that outrageous?
Mom
But you need to get back in your chair.
Mom
What if someone sees you there under your desk?
Sara
They won’t, Mom. I’m hidden by some copier-paper boxes!
Sara
I settled myself in and piled them up alongside me like a fort.
Mom
If only you could use this kind of ingenuity on your actual work.
Sara
There’s just a little space at the top for me to see out.
Sara
I got a cushion from the lounge to use as a pillow.
Sara
And I’m using my coat as a blanket.
Sara
It’s actually pretty comfortable!
Sara
I’m just going to nap here until 5.
Mom
But won’t people wonder where you are?
Sara
I told them I would be at a marketing meeting.
Mom
And what about the whole idea of working while you’re at work?
Sara
I’m too tired to work!
Sara
Besides, I’ll work twice as hard tomorrow!!
Sara
Someone is in my cubicle.
Sara
I recognize the stain on his pants, unfortunately.
Mom
Sara, do you still have a job?
Sara
Yeah Mom, everything’s fine.
Sara
Bill guarded my cubicle until I got back in my chair.
Sara
Nobody except him knows what I did.
Sara
He thought what I did was funny. And clever!
Sara
He said he could relate. He gets tired in the afternoon too.
Sara
I was honest about him about why I was so especially tired today.
Sara
And it turns out he’s a Twin Peaks fan too!
Sara
I’m going over to his place tonight to watch it with him.
Sara
But we both promised to finish at 10 p.m.
Mom
Well thank goodness for that.
Mom
I thought Bill was one of the most annoying people you ever met.
Sara
But once he stopped typing so loud and started eating his smelly lunches in the cafeteria…
Sara
He kind of started growing on me.
Sara
And we’ve been through so much together now.
Sara
Plus we’re going to work together on a political cause.
Mom
Oh? What cause is that?
