The next morning, I force myself to go running again.
But fat lot of good it does.
Standing on the same block…
At the exact same time in the morning…
Wallowing in shame, yet again.
Footsteps coming up behind me.
And as if the morning can’t get any worse…
I realize that it’s Shane.
But he slows down when he gets to my side.
For a moment, we just stare at each other.
He’s in a tank, yet again…
And I can’t help but gawk at his marble chest.
His words force my eyes back to his.
Trying not to imagine how sloppy I must look right now.
But my manners eventually kick in…
And I let out a self-deprecating sigh.
Lulu
Listen, I am so sorry about last night.
Lulu
I completely overreacted.
Lulu
It…hasn’t been a good week.
Lulu
And it was wrong for me to take it out on you.
Lulu
Those cupcakes are amazing.
Lulu
And it was kind of you to think of me.
Lulu
And I’m sorry you had to witness Chad, um…
Lulu
Well, I’m just sorry you had to witness that.
I can’t read Shane’s expression.
He’s just standing there staring at me…
Sweat dripping down his glorious body.
Lulu
I guess I’ll see you—
His interruption takes me by surprise.
He gestures to the cords around his neck.
He’s smiling a movie-star smile.
Shane
Running with music is a lot easier.
Shane
I usually go with hip hop or rap.
Shane
Something with a faster beat to keep my legs moving.
Shane
If you’re interested, I can give you some recommendations.
His words sink into my brain…
Why didn’t I think of that?
Maybe because I don’t know a thing about running.
Lulu
Probably would have been a good idea.
I gesture down at myself, forcing out a laugh.
Lulu
Clearly, I don’t do this often.
But instead of laughing with me, he frowns.
Then he squints his eyes, as if he’s thinking.
Shane
I’m headed over to the CVS on Washington Street.
Shane
Need to pick up a few things.
Shane
Want to walk with me?
I can feel my cheeks getting red.
Lulu
I don’t want to interrupt your workout.
He shakes his head quickly.
Shane
You’re not interrupting anything.
Shane
I’m just finishing up.
He smiles and starts walking.
Then turns around and raises a brow as if in challenge.
We’re walking side by side.
Shane
I appreciate the company.
Shane
I just moved here from LA.
Shane
Don’t know too many people yet.
Where else would someone like him live?
I give him a sardonic smile.
Lulu
You traded in sunny L.A. for rainy Portland?
Lulu
Psh. You must be all looks and no brains.
Oh my god, did I just say that?
But to my relief, he just laughs at my joke.
Some of the tension in my chest eases.
Shane
I’m actually from Oregon originally.
Shane
I umm…got tired of the L.A. life.
Shane
And I wanted to be closer to my family.
The tension eases further.
Now that is something I can understand.
Lulu
My family lives around here too.
Do I want to tell him that I’m a chef?
And that my family owns a restaurant in town?
I’ve always been so proud of my occupation…
But is he going to judge me?
Is being a chef a “fat girl job?”
I decide to keep my mouth shut.
I search for something else to say.
Lulu
I’m originally from Oregon as well.
Lulu
North of here, but not by much.
Lulu
Yes. We’re all a bunch of hipsters.
I notice laugh lines around his eyes.
As if he smiles all the time.
Shane
Even though you’re NOT a hipster…
Shane
You like dark beer.
Shane
And have an extensive knowledge about every obscure subject.
Lulu
Add in that I often listen to bluesy tunes…
Lulu
With a crowd of really good friends.
Shane
Wait, you have a cat too?
Lulu
Been hiding her in the apartment for years.
He blows out a relieved breath.
Shane
That makes me feel so much better.
Shane
I’m doing the same thing.
Shane
No way I was going to part with Mr. Meowgi.
Laughing, I wave away his worries.
Lulu
I have it on good authority our building is full of cat criminals.
Shane
You know, Mr. Meowgi is really friendly.
Shane
You should bring your cat over to meet him sometime.
I don’t know how to take that.
The fact that he’s pretending he wants to make plans with me…
Then I change the subject.
Lulu
Tell me about yourself.
He looks thoughtful for a moment.
Then he reaches up to rub his smooth chin.
Shane
Well, I’m not a hipster.
Shane
Couldn’t grow a beard if my life depended on it.
I laugh, and we share a smile.
A half an hour later, when we get back to the apartment building…
But it feels surprisingly good.
Shane
Would you be up for another walk tomorrow?
This time, it’s a real concrete plan.
As in, the kind he’d have to follow through with.
His perfect, rock-hard body.
He wants to walk with me?
Like there’s something obvious I’m not getting.
Shane
See you tomorrow, Lulu.
Shane and I meet every morning.
Even on Saturdays and Sundays.
And I have more fun than I’ve had in years.
Especially when I get to know Shane.
I think I was right about the laugh lines.
Because he always seems to have a smile on his face.
But I found something I like even better than his smile…
I saw it for the first time last Saturday at the corner market.
There was a calendar of famous athletes posing shirtless with kittens.
I snatched it up right away.
Lulu
You could totally do this.
Lulu
You have the body, the face…
He met my eyes then looked away quickly.
Shane
No one would buy that.
Lulu
I’d buy one for every room in my house.
Let’s just say it made me tingle.
But that tingle’s the problem.
Getting to spend all this time with Shane…
It’s a good and bad thing.
Good, because I enjoy his company…
But bad, because I’m developing a major crush.
I know it will go absolutely nowhere.
And that sucks, because he and I have a lot in common.
But if Chad wasn’t into me…
No way a guy like Shane could ever be.
Shane asks me a question that takes me by surprise.
And so does his expression.
Shane
So umm…what are you up to later?
I keep my answer vague, as always.
His arms cross over his chest.
Shane
You know, you still haven’t told me where you work.
Shane
But I noticed you keep weird hours.
My heart starts beating faster in my chest.
But I don’t know what to say…
So his question hangs in the air for a bit.
I give him a forced smile.
Lulu
Yeah, my schedule is all over the place.
Lulu
But I work a lot of Friday and Saturday nights.
And before he says anything…
Lulu
I’m not a stripper or anything.
Shane doesn’t take the bait.
A flicker of hurt flashes through his eyes.
Shane
Why don’t you want to tell me about your job?
Lulu
Oh, would you look at the time?!
Lulu
We can chat about it sometime later.
And run back into the apartment building.
Mom
Why didn’t you tell him where you work?!
Mom
Are you ashamed of us or something?!
My mom is busy chopping tomatoes…
But that still doesn’t stop her from glaring at me.
Lulu
I don’t want to be the fat girl who works at a restaurant.
Her chopping gets quicker.
I know my words have upset her.
Mom
Many girls would kill to have your curves!
Mom
If he doesn’t like you for you!
I put my head in my hands.
And accidentally get pizza sauce on my forehead.
Lulu
Mom, it’s not like that.
She gives me a knowing look.
I know what she’s thinking.
That I want to be more than just his friend.
I try to get her to understand how impossible that’d be.
Lulu
You don’t get it, mom.
Lulu
With a perfect body!
Lulu
And he’s more than just a winner in the genetic lottery.
Lulu
He’s kind…and sweet.
Lulu
And God, so patient.
A small smile forms on her lips.
Mom
Does he have brown hair?
Mom
With a tattoo on the left bicep?
Lulu
How did you know that?
She gestures with her knife.
Mom
Because there’s a man that looks like that in the front of my restaurant.
Mom
And he’s staring right at you.
