After a delightful dinner of Chinese takeout, Erin and Will are curled on the sofa with Nymeria, browsing through Netflix.
The dog is currently obsessed with licking Will’s hand.
Will scratches Nymeria behind her ears until she makes a doggie O-Face.
Will
I like her too. She and Ghost are going to be best buds.
Erin
Just watching Netflix together.
Erin
Who knew we’d both dig Black Mirror?
Will
You just happen to have excellent taste.
Erin
I’m so glad I answered your text that morning.
Erin
Can you imagine if I hadn’t?
Erin
We never would have met.
Will
Can’t even think about it.
Erin
What would you have done if I hadn’t?
Will
Don’t even ask that.
Will
I probably would have continued to wander alone.
Erin
You would have met someone.
Will
She wouldn’t have been you.
Will
What would you have done if we hadn’t met?
Erin
Ehh. Probably would’ve slept around.
Erin does her most convincing warble.
Erin
I would have diminished and gone into the West…
Will
Oh my God, like Galadriel.
Will
You’re such a fantasy nerd.
Erin
Yeah, but YOU got the reference.
Will
I guess I’m a nerd too.
Erin
That’s why I like you so much.
Will
We’re a pretty good pair.
Erin
Have I mentioned how glad I am that we met?
Will
I believe so. But I could hear it again.
Erin
Why don’t I show you instead?
The kiss deepens and the dog gently pads off the sofa.
They lose sight of the room as the heat rises between them.
But then…the front door bangs open.
Both Erin and Will leap up and quickly adjust various articles of clothing.
Erin
I thought you weren’t going to be home tonight.
Kimmy
The ah…work ended early.
Erin’s stomach lurches when she notices that Will is staring — fiercely — at Kimmy.
Kimmy grimaces and then laughs.
Erin looks from Will to Kimmy.
Erin
What? What is going on?
Will
The girl from the bar.
Will
SHE was the one I met.
Will
The one who flirted with me.
He rips back his sleeve where remnants of sharpie remain.
Erin stares at Kimmy and pales.
Bile rises in her throat.
Tiffany pulls Kimmy in to a big squishy hug.
Tiffany
This is so awesome!
Erin
Oh lord. I’m so mortified.
Kimmy
Come on. Nothing happened.
Kimmy
Especially once he made a Jon Snow reference.
Erin
I can’t believe you flirted with my SISTER.
Will
I didn’t even know you then!
Will
Besides, you didn’t tell me you had a twin sister.
Tiffany
Trust me. They couldn’t.
Erin
Kimmy! How could you do this to me?
Kimmy
Do what? Find you the perfect guy?
Kimmy
I mean, five minutes into our conversation, I knew he was perfect for you.
Kimmy
But you’re such a stick in the mud—
Erin
Why does everyone keep saying that?
Kimmy
I figured you needed a nudge.
Kimmy
I just…helped things along.
Erin
So you pretended to be me.
Erin
I am so mad at you right now.
Kimmy
Huh, I don’t see why.
Tiffany jerks a thumb at Will.
Will
It’s true. You did get me.
Will
Both of us — we got each other.
Will wraps his arms around her.
Erin
I guess when you say it like that, I can’t disagree.
Kimmy
Well, I’m thrilled you’re together.
Kimmy
And that Charlie is out of the picture.
Kimmy
After all, that was the plan all along.
Erin
Getting rid of Charlie?
Kimmy
You deserve someone who gets your sense of humor.
Kimmy
Someone who lives in your bizarre fantasy world.
At the same time, Will and Erin bellow…
Erin
[Person 2] and IT’S NOT BIZARRE!
Kimmy
See? Perfect for each other.
The sisters share tender smile, then hug.
Kimmy pulls back and winks.
Kimmy
So now it’s time for you to get your ass in gear…
Kimmy
And find the perfect man for me.
Erin
You’ve set the bar pretty high, but…
Erin
I will do my best, sis.
