Kim
Although I have to say, “buddy” is more you than “gnarly.”
Neil
Lol, I’m not so sure about that.
Kim
Life sucks without you.
Neil
Ha - did you have to resort to *shudder* contracts instead of talking to me?
Kim
I did. *Shudder* is right.
Neil
So, tell me about this hot date tonight.
Kim
You seriously want to hear about my date?
Kim
I know you want to be friends,
Kim
But don’t you think that’ll be weird?
Neil
Kim, you’re dating someone from HR.
Neil
I doubt it’ll get hot and heavy on the first date.
Neil
He’ll probably be like:
Neil
Can you verbalize the way you’re feeling right now?
Neil
Or, Kim, if you’re feeling any discomfort…
Neil
Let’s use interpersonal strategies to get through it.
Kim
Yeah, well, maybe I need those interpersonal strategies.
Kim
I don’t know if you noticed, but I suck at relationships.
Kim
Let’s not get into this again.
Neil
Ok, fair. I’ll stop.
Neil
So where’s the HR Wonder taking you?
Kim
Neil, can we talk about something else?
Kim
Like, IDK, what drink I should order.
Kim
Something dumb like that.
Kim
Does ordering a mixed drink make me seem easy?
Neil
You’re not easy, Kim.
Neil
If this guy is going to care about something dumb like that…
Neil
Just be yourself. Order what you want.
Neil
But I mean, maybe if you told me where you were going…
Neil
I could take a look at the drink menu for you.
Neil
You know, to help you choose.
Neil
What’s the big deal?
Neil
Afraid I’m going to crash your date?
Kim
Neil, you’re being a little annoying right now.
Neil
Kim, just tell me where you’re going.
Three excruciating hours later...
Neil pulls up a new window and IB’s his friend Luke.
Neil
Hey, drinks tonight?
Neil
It’s kinda an emergency.
Luke
Shit, you NEVER have a drinks emergency.
Luke
It’s about time you cash in on one of the nights you’ve helped me.
Luke
Shit. Wait - are you and Kim finally getting back together?
Neil
Actually, who am I kidding? Not at all.
Neil
She’s going on a date tonight with someone else.
Neil
I tried to distract myself by staying late and working…
Neil
But I can’t stop picturing them together.
Luke
All right, dude, chill.
Luke
It’s already seven - we need to get you to the bar, STAT.
Less than a minute later, Luke is at Neil’s office.
He has one of his arms stuffed into his blazer,
And he’s still putting a notebook in his bag.
Luke
I came as fast as I could.
Luke
No need for that, mon frère.
Luke
Not McKellan’s, right?
Luke
I know that’s where you usually go with Kim.
Neil
Actually, that’s EXACTLY where I think we should go.
Neil
Kim was being super sketchy about where they were going tonight.
Neil
And if she takes him to the place she goes to with me…
Luke
I get it, man. Let’s go.
They race down the street and throw open the door to McKellan’s Pub.
And there, at the bar, is a sight that makes Neil’s stomach drop to the floor.
It’s Kim, twirling her straw as she talks to a handsome blonde man,
And they’re sitting in THEIR spot - the exact same spot from last night.
Donny, THEIR favorite bartender, is chatting happily with them.
It’s as if they’re living in Neil’s dream world.
Luke
Dude, don’t torture yourself.
Luke
Let’s just go to another bar. There are so many places around here.
Neil feels his jaw tighten.
Neil
Look, there’s a whole table of women in the back corner.
Neil
Let’s buy them a round of drinks.
Luke
Are you sure that’s the best thing for you to do right now?
Neil
I said, let’s buy them a round of drinks.
Luke
Jesus. Okay man, whatever you say.
Neil swiftly orders a bottle of La Mondotte, speaking loudly so Kim can hear.
He knows it’s petty, but he can feel her eyes on him
And he can’t help but relish the sensation.
When the girls smile and wave him over, he turns to Kim, shrugs,
And then makes his way to their table.
Woman
Hello yourself. Aren’t you going to sit down?
Neil
I think I should know your name first.
Woman
That didn’t stop you from sending over a very expensive bottle of Merlot.
Neil
I had to make sure you’d want to talk to me.
Woman
Listen, I’d want to talk to you without the wine. I’m Rosalind.
Neil
It’s very nice to meet you.
Rosalind
Likewise - now have a seat.
Kim watches Neil slide into the booth full of stunning women
And tries to keep her eyes on Brad.
Kim
So, HR is your passion, huh?
Brad
It really is. I just love people.
Brad
People are the building blocks of a good company.
Brad
Without good, happy people…
But Kim is having a hard time concentrating on Brad’s words.
She watches Neil press up against a beautiful woman,
And her jaw drops as the woman’s arm wraps around Neil’s neck.
But Kim knows she shouldn’t be shocked -
Because, of course, what single woman wouldn’t want to be with Neil?
Brad
Kim, why are you standing?
Brad
Where are you going?
But Kim doesn’t even hear the words coming out of Brad’s mouth.
Instead, she’s focusing on Neil’s lips…
As they move closer to the woman next to him.
