Kim
I CANNOT believe you just ordered that.
Kim
I’m supposed to sit here and watch you eat…
Neil
What’s the point of living if you’re not going to try the weirdest dishes on a menu?
Kim
Is that a new philosophy of yours?
Kim
You’ve never ordered bone marrow from McKellan’s before.
Neil
Yeah, well now I’ve got you under the Kiss Contract…
Neil
So you’ve got to keeping kissing me, no matter what I order.
Kim
Well if you eat that bone marrow…
Kim
You won’t be kissing me until AFTER you’ve brushed your teeth.
Neil
We’ll see about that.
Neil
I doubt you’ll be able to resist me that long.
Kim
Oh? And what makes you so confident about that?
Neil pulls out a flimsy, rectangular object
Wrapped modestly in brown paper and string.
He dangles it across the table.
Neil
Exactly. See, I KNEW bribery was the way to your heart.
Kim
I’d yell at you for saying that but…
Kim laughs and snatches the gift out of Neil’s hand
She starts tearing the paper with furious excitement.
Neil watches her, amazed that he’s sitting across from such a beautiful woman.
Kim
Wow! Is this cover made of leather?
Kim
It’s so soft, but I love how thin and light it is.
Kim
Neil, I love it. Seriously.
Kim
It’s the perfect gift for someone in a Kiss Contract!
Kim
How’d you know that I was running out of pages in my current sketchbook?
Neil
Lucky guess, based on the fact that every single day this week,
Neil
You IB’d me that you had “crushed mad sketches.”
Kim
I DID crush mad sketches.
Neil
See - dammit! How’d you just pull that line off?
Kim
Because I, unlike you, can pull just about anything off.
Neil
You’re right about that.
Kim hugs the sketchbook to her chest.
Kim
This is so great - I’ve had such good artistic energy lately.
Kim
Like, all I want to do is sketch.
Neil
Good - you SHOULD sketch. All the time.
Neil
You should fill this book with sketches.
Neil
And then we can use them as wallpaper in our apartments.
Neil
I want my bedroom to be COVERED in your drawings!
Kim
Neil, come on. That’s ridiculous.
Neil
No it’s not. They’re that good.
Neil reaches out for Kim’s hand, but he gets interrupted -
As the waitress walks up to the table,
And places a hefty plate in front of Neil.
Kim
Those legit look like bones.
Neil
That’s because they ARE bones -
Neil
Hence the name, bone marrow.
Kim
How do you even EAT that?
Neil
You scoop out the middle, like this.
Kim
Gross - I’m sorry I asked.
Kim
Seriously, I’m gonna hurl.
Neil
Haha, then why don’t I distract you while I eat?
Neil
Open the sketchbook.
Kim
I’m not gonna sketch you while you eat the bone marrow.
Kim
That would require me to study you wayyy too closely,
Kim
And you look pretty disgusting right now.
Neil
Ouch, that’s mean, Kimmy.
Neil
What, can’t we make the third rule on the Kiss Contract…
Neil
That I call you Kimmy?
Neil
Double ouch. Now, before you dig into my wounds any further…
Neil
Open the sketchbook. Seriously.
Neil
There’s something else in there for you.
Kim
Neil, I JUST said that the sketchbook was the perfect Kiss Contract gift.
Kim
As in, I don’t need any other gifts from you.
Neil
Yes, but how was I supposed to know that when I put the gift together?
Neil
Besides, we’ve been over this - I know how important bribery is to you.
Neil looks Kim in the eyes so seriously that at first,
She doesn’t think he’s joking. But then Neil suddenly breaks,
And she’s laughing along with him,
So hard she has to gasp for air.
Kim
Okay, fine. I’m opening it.
Kim
But I’m NOT happy about it.
Neil
You can’t fool me, Kimberly Blake.
Neil
I know you’re happy you’re getting another gift.
Kim flashes him a smile, confirming his suspicions.
She flips through the sketchbook,
And the air fans out the wisps of hair that surround her face.
The pages snag, and she pulls out a legal - sized envelope.
She opens it, pulls out a sheet of paper from inside,
And then her lips form a small ‘o.’
Neil
Before you say anything or try to make me return it…
Kim
Oh, Neil, I wouldn’t.
Kim
Real, Professional Art Classes?
Neil
Yes. You’re so talented, Kim.
Neil
Can you imagine what could become of your potential…
Neil
If you had a trained eye critiquing your work?
Kim
Amazing… Neil, this is a dream come true.
Kim
Can I come over there? Can I give you a surprise?
Neil
Is that surprise a kiss?
Neil
Even after the bone marrow?
Kim’s yanks Neil’s tie, pulling him closer to her.
She plants a kiss on his mouth - short and sweet,
Like they’ve never stopped kissing
And will kiss forevermore.
Kim
Wait, what were you going to say before?
Kim
You know, before - when you were telling me not to get angry…
Neil
I’m kidding. I know what you meant.
Neil
I thought that you might get worried I’d spent too much money on you…
Neil
So I wanted to tell you that my sister’s friend teaches the class.
Neil
She’s totally certified and everything, but I got a huge discount.
Neil
I thought that’d make you feel better about accepting it.
Kim
You thought correctly.
Kim
But Neil, even if you had spent a lot on this gift, I don’t think I could have turned this down.
Kim
This is an amazing opportunity for me. Thank you.
Neil
I’m glad you feel that way.
Neil
Because the next gift…
Neil
I’m not so sure it’s gonna go over well.
Kim
How can there be a NEXT gift?!
Kim
You’ve already given me two -
But when Neil puts the third gift on the table,
Kim loses her train of thought.
Because the item before her is a black, perfectly square box -
A very IDENTIFIBLE square box.
Kim
I… I’m not actually that hungry, I think I’ll just go back to the office.
Kim
You take my lunch home. You can have it for dinner tonight.
Neil
Kim - Kim! It’s not as bad as you think.
Kim
How can this not be as bad as I think?
Kim
I really don’t think I should open it, Neil.
Kim
The look on my face will only disappoint you.
But Neil won’t let Kim’s words sway him.
He grabs her hands and looks her directly in the eyes.
Kim grimaces as she slowly flips back the cover of the box.
Kim
You’ve got to be SHITTING me!
