Leila
Nothing much…whatchu doin boo?
Sal
Just chilling at the house…home alone tonight!
Leila
Woohoo! Don’t have any girls over for crazy parties
Sal
Shut up dork, you know i wouldn’t do anything like that…I love you
Leila
Love you too lol :)
Leila
Yeah, I get done at 11:15 :(
Sal
That’s intense. So listen, I found the link to d/l this app…
Leila
Oh yeah? Is it for a game or something?
Sal
No no nothing like that. I saw on this forum, these guys were talkin about it
Sal
That’s the thing, I’m not sure, but it apparently changed their lives, made amazing stuff happen, somehow…
Leila
Maybe it’s like one of those inspirational message things??
Sal
I guess I’m gonna find out!
Sal
Just about…I followed these instructions in Russian through a translator to get the link...
Sal
it was free so that’s cool…it’s on some sketchy like black market website
Leila
That’s crazy!! Be careful
Sal
What can I say, I live on the edge ;)
Sal
HEY. lol anyway it should be done in a sec, I’ll let you know what it does
Sal
Whoa that was weird, all my messages with you turned into chinese for a second, but then it all turned back
Sal
Swear to god, if this thing messes up my phone…
Leila
Well you can’t blame anyone else if it does!!
Sal
Sorry sorry my phone shut off…freaked me out for a second, I thought it was toast
Leila
Well good thing it’s okay…so what is the “lamp” doing? Anything?
Sal
Sorry I’m so annoyed, my brother must have been on my bed again, he left stupid crumbs all over it…
Sal
they’re on my phone too
Sal
Such a dweeb…it’s like the crumbs are coming out of the phone right now, don’t even know how he could have done that
Leila
Ask “lamp” lol maybe it gives you the answers to everything
Leila
Or maybe it’s like a genie’s lamp, you write your wishes
Sal
Hahahah yeah sure. Nah this black market stupid app doesn’t work at all…what a rip
Sal
Oh shit! I just barely touched my phone and ripped the corner off by accident
Leila
Ripped the “corner”?? How??
Sal
I don’t know but I’m holding the corner in my hand. Phone’s still working tho…obviously
Sal
what is happening? Did the app mess with the wiring?
Leila
I think I might know what’s going on. ur not gonna like it though
Leila
Okay, so this is going to sound insane but…look at your previous messages.
Leila
You thought your phone was toast, then you said the app was a rip.
Sal
Wtf you talking about?
Leila
Hear me out…i think it might be taking whatever you type and is turning it into reality
Sal
Huh?? That’s impossible
Leila
Well I didn’t think it was possible for someone to lose the corner of their phone randomly, but there ya go
Sal
Ok well you may have a point because now there’s a wizard standing in my bedroom
Sal
The door was locked but he just came right through
Sal
I’m gonna try to talk to him, he seems friendly, maybe he can explain what’s going on
Sal
Ok so he doesn’t speak English and turns out he’s not friendly at all…he’s actually yelling at me now
Sal
WHY IS HE SO ANGRY?? He’s pointing his staff at me! I can’t move from the bed!!
Sal
So I guess I’m good now…he just levitated up through my ceiling on a beam of blue light
Leila
you need to delete that app
Sal
I’m trying, but of course it won’t do anything…also I can’t turn my phone off apparently - it’s staying on
Leila
Get like a hammer and smash it, or throw it out the window
Sal
Are you crazy?? I’m not breaking my phone over this. look, he’s gone now, so all I need to do is be more careful
Sal
I can turn this around for good I think
Sal
“I wish for a million dollars”
Leila
Nice! What happened?
Sal
The hole the wizard went up through just spat out like a million of these white hard discs
Sal
and they fell on my head and it really hurts
Leila
Oh jeez. Are they “sand dollars?” From the beach?
Leila
Well Sal, you’re in luck…this app is sarcastic
Sal
Naturally. What a mess. My parents are gonna…
Sal
Oh, never mind. I don’t want to say it
Sal
Anyway I have a bigger problem…Mikey just texted me
Sal
I don’t wanna repeat it for obvious reasons but anyway it doesn’t matter because now
Sal
there’s a swarm of bats in my bedroom
Sal
And I’m under my bed now
Leila
WAIT it uses other peoples texts too????
Sal
Uh YEAH i don’t think the bats would be here otherwise??
Leila
I said to call 911 so maybe they’re on their way
Sal
It’s a group conversation. they’re naming their fav action movies and why. This is gonna SUCK
Sal
Yeah yeah yeah i just realized what I said
Sal
The bats are turning into dudes…who I assume would like to bite my neck. I WISH I HAD PROTECTION OF SOME KIND
Sal
Oh a suit of armor great
Leila
Well it’s better than nothing
Sal
riding on a pile of homework somehow
Sal
Bedroom filled up with water and there’s crocodiles and piranhas and i’m floating down the stairs to the living room
Sal
Trying to stay low cuz of the rocket launchers and blow darts
Leila
Can you delete the group conversation??
Sal
Course not. whole second floor of house just blew up
Sal
The cops and fire department are here…unfortunately so are ALIENS
Leila
Where are you, are you safe??
Sal
Wedged behind couch. Aliens and cops are having a shoot-out so they’re not really interested in me
Sal
there go the giant pancakes with lizard heads
Leila
it’s spreading to the gas station!!! Talking dogs with laser beam cannons and Bruce Willis are here!!
Sal
I WISH LEILA HAD PROTECTION TOO
Leila
Thank god theres this purple forcefield around me
Sal
I really hope the fire goblins with circular saw arms arent there too
Leila
SAL this lamp thing you’ve gotta make it stop!!!!!
Sal
Think my phone might die at any second it’s at 2%!
Leila
I don’t think we can wait that long!! giant tidal wave with a face came through the doors!!!
Sal
Ok gonna throw the phone into the crossfire wish me luck
Sal
Wait where did it all go???
Sal
I’m back on the bed. My room is here again! Thank god!!
Sal
Leila? Hey, what you doing?
Leila
Nothing much…whatchu doin boo?
Sal
UH I think I saved us!
Leila
Woohoo! Don’t have any girls over for crazy parties
Leila
Love you too lol :)
END OF TRIAL PERIOD. TO CONTINUE PRESS ANY BUTTON NOW. THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING LAMP.
