Penelope
Ava, I really need your help!
I’m on a FaceTime call with my BFF.
Ava
What do you need help with?
Penelope
Well, I think I’ve found the perfect guy—
Penelope
But there are…romantic complications.
Ava
Oooh. This sounds like a challenge.
Penelope
His name is Zack…
Penelope
And we met on the Comic-Con forum boards.
Penelope
He loves Marvel Comics as much as I do.
Penelope
So we ended up DM’ing and talking all night.
Penelope
And that’s when things got…complicated.
Penelope
Because Zack sent me his picture.
Ava
Oh no. Does he look like Shrek or something?
Penelope
He actually looks like Chris Evans.
Ava
So he’s a hot nerd! Sweet!
Penelope
Yeah, but that’s part of the problem:
Penelope
The hot nerd asked to see my picture in return.
Penelope
But I can’t send him my pic, Ava!
Ava
Why not? You’re pretty!
Then I glance at the thumbnail image of me on the FaceTime screen:
Penelope
Ava, I’m not pretty.
Penelope
And if Zack ever saw my picture…
Penelope
He would run away as fast as possible.
Ava
Penelope, I wish you would have some confidence in yourself.
Penelope
And that’s probably why I did something bad.
I brace myself, waiting for Ava to kill me.
Penelope
Instead of sending Zack a picture of me…
Penelope
I sent him one of you.
Penelope
I just wanted to impress him!
Penelope
But I made things even worse…
Penelope
Because Zack invited me to a Comic-Con virtual meetup—
Penelope
And he’s FaceTiming me in one minute.
Ava
Oh my god — what are you going to do?
I send her a puppy-dog look.
Penelope
Well, that’s where you come in, bestie.
Penelope
I was hoping you would pretend to be me.
Penelope
No it isn’t! I’ve planned it all out!
Penelope
Since this is a virtual meetup, I can be there, too.
Penelope
That means I can do all the talking.
Penelope
All you have to do is sit there and pretend to be me.
I give her a sheepish look.
Penelope
All I want to do is see Zack in real life…
Penelope
Then I’ll go back to DM’ing him, okay?
Ava
This is still a terrible idea.
Suddenly, my phone rings with a group FaceTime call.
And since I already gave Zack Ava’s number…
Her phone is ringing, too.
Penelope
Oh my god, that’s him now!
Penelope
Ava, PLEASE do this for me?
She blows out a long breath.
Ava
Okay. But only if you promise to tell Zack the truth.
I don’t think she heard that last part…
Because she’s already disconnected from our call.
I take a deep, quavering breath…
Then smile hopefully as I join the meetup.
The first thing I see onscreen is Zack.
He’s smiling at me in all his Chris Evans hotness.
Penelope
Hi, I’m…uh…Penelope’s friend. Ava?
Zack
Great. Well, here’s the deal, Ava…
Zack
The other guys in the meetup canceled…
Zack
So it’ll be just us and Penelope.
There’s a gleam in his eyes.
He’s thinking about Ava’s picture, isn’t he?
Zack
You know, I can’t wait to meet her.
It’s a good thing I didn’t send him my picture.
As I swallow my hurt down…
Ava pops onto the screen.
Zack’s eyes light up with even more interest.
Zack
Penelope? Wow, lookin’ good.
She obviously thinks he’s a jerk.
But I swear he wasn’t like this last night!
Zack leans on his muscular forearms.
Zack
Did you check out the Comic-Con edition of Ultimate X-Men online?
I swoop in to save Ava from having to answer.
Penelope
Penelope actually has a stack of other comics to read first.
Penelope
Don’t you, Penelope?
Ava
I’ve got oodles just waiting for my eager eyes.
Zack
How many DC Comics are in that stack?
Zack
I know how much you just love DC, Penelope.
Penelope
Um…actually, Penelope is a Marvel Comics fan.
Penelope
I think she told me that you are, too, Zack.
For some reason, Zack looks like a deer in the headlights.
That’s when something weird happens—
I think I hear whispering in the background of his call.
Then Zack laughs casually.
Zack
Yeah, I meant to say that Penelope likes Marvel.
Zack
And I totally do, too.
Zack
I especially like Batman.
What? Batman isn’t from Marvel!
The whispering is louder now…
And it sounds really ticked off.
Zack runs his hand through his hair.
Zack
I meant X-Men, not Batman.
Penelope
Zack, are you talking to someone?
Penelope
Because I hear whispering on your end.
Penelope
And you seem kind of off in general.
Penelope
I mean, last night, you knew everything about comics—
Penelope
Including the difference between Marvel and DC.
Penelope
But you sure don’t know much now.
Zack
Ava…did you just say I talked to you last night?
Zack
How could that have happened when I just met you?
My face turns a mortifying red.
Zack
Hey — did you just call her Penelope??
Zack
I thought her name was Ava!
I slip down further in my chair.
Penelope
No, she’s right. My name is Penelope…
Penelope
And that’s my friend Ava.
Zack
Wait. I don’t get it.
Ava
Let me enlighten you—
Ava
We switched identities, Galaxy Brain.
I feel like I’m wilting into nothing.
But Ava comes to my rescue again.
Ava
Why don’t you explain all the weird stuff happening with you first?
Ava
For instance, why couldn’t you keep your own story straight?
Ava
And why was someone whispering to you like Cyrano de Bergerac?
Then he looks off camera.
Zack
Bro, get your butt in this chair.
Zack
You’ve got some explaining to do.
As I stare at the screen in confusion…
“Zack” leaves the screen.
His empty chair just sits there…
Until someone slowly slides into it.
It’s a guy with brown hair and glasses.
His face is beet red as he shyly waves.
Guy
Hey. I guess you’re wondering what’s happening.
Ava
As a matter of fact, we were.
Guy
Well, I’m the real Zack.
He’s looking at the screen intently.
I think he’s taking a good look at me—
I sigh, knowing that he has to be disappointed.
Ava
Okay. If you’re the real Zack…
Ava
Who was that other guy?
Zack
That was my brother Ethan.
Zack
Sorry he was such a jerk.
Ava
Okay, Penelope, this is all yours.
She blips off the screen.
Zack pushes his glasses up his nose.
Zack
Listen, I know you probably hate me…
Zack
But can I just say one thing first?
Zack
I really liked you, Penelope.
Zack
Heck, I liked you even before you sent me that picture of your friend.
Penelope
Then why did you send me a pic of your brother?
He shrugs in embarrassment.
Zack
Because most girls are totally out of my league…
Zack
And I thought you might be the same way.
Zack
So in a moment of complete idiocy…
Zack
I decided to make you think I was a lot better looking than I am.
Penelope
No. In case you didn’t notice, I did the exact same thing.
Penelope
I liked you for who you were, too, Zack…
Penelope
And I just wanted to impress you.
Zack
Don’t you know how pretty you are?
I feel my skin glow with a super-powered blush.
Penelope
No. Nobody has ever told me that before—
Penelope
Especially a guy as cute as you.
Then he nudges up his glasses again.
Zack
Could we just start over?
Penelope
That’s a perfect idea.
Zack
Okay then…here goes.
Zack
And I’ve been looking for the perfect girl for me.
A smile breaks over my face.
Penelope
Hi, I’m Penelope…
Penelope
And I’d say you found her.
