Liesl
Hey, you there? I’m booooooored.
Katie
Aren’t you at a job interview?
Liesl
They just brought me to a windowless room and I’m waiting for some dude to come interview me.
Liesl
I dunno. Marketing something?
Katie
Sounds amazing. What company?
Liesl
It’s got an A in it.
Katie
Do you even want this job?
Liesl
Give me a break. I’m hungover.
Katie
Ha! Last night was amazing, wasn’t it?
Liesl
I barely remember it! But the hickey on my neck tells me it was amazing.
Katie
Haha! Are you even remotely ready for this interview?
Liesl
I’m not even remotely ready to open my eyes.
Liesl
I cannot concentrate! Oh wait, just a sec
Liesl
Now I REALLY can’t concentrate!
Liesl
The guy who’s going to interview me just came in.
Liesl
He’s a Channing Tatum lookalike!!!
Katie
It’s a good thing the room is windowless. :)
Liesl
I know, right? But I really cannot focus when all I want to do is stick my tongue down his throat!
Katie
Keep your pants on, girl!
Liesl
Did I keep my pants on last night? I honestly have no idea!
Katie
You woke up humming, so I’m guessing it was a good night.
Liesl
Yeah, but how good? “Hickey on my neck” good, or “hope he wore a condom” good?
Katie
Did you check the waste basket in your room this morning?
Katie
Yuck!! I am 100% NOT searching trash for a USED CONDOM!!
Liesl
Okay, fine. Channing is coming back.
Katie
What? Did you hook up? Already? In like 2 minutes?
Liesl
No, but I’m pretty sure Channing is flirting with me!! I can’t handle it!
Liesl
He keeps asking me about myself and what “drives me” and about my “background.” It feels like a first date!
Katie
OMG, have you ever even BEEN on a job interview before?
Katie
Did he ask your strengths and weaknesses? Cuz that’s a sure sign he wants to get in your pants. Ha!
Liesl
Shut up! It’s not WHAT he’s saying, it’s HOW he’s saying it.
Liesl
Like he’s saying it while he’s undressing me with his eyes.
Katie
You are all over the place today! First, you can’t figure out if you had sex last night. And now you think the person who’s interviewing you is flirting?
Liesl
Ugh, you’re so right. I need to calm down. I actually really need this job.
Katie
I know. Your rent is late again.
Liesl
I know, I’m sorry. Okay, deep breath.
Katie
You can do this. Just focus on the interview. Talk about all the marketing stuff you’ve done.
Liesl
That would take 22 seconds.
Katie
Go back to the interview!
Liesl
This is a disaster :(
Katie
Why? What’s going on?
Liesl
He’s asking me about all my experience, and I literally have nothing to say! I keep saying, “Well, I just graduated from college,” like I’m an idiot.
Katie
Tell him something like, “But I’m young and ready to roll up my sleeves and learn.”
Liesl
In the bathroom txting you. 2nd time in the last 10 minutes!
Katie
He’s gonna think you have a UTI
Katie
Oversexed or an addict - either way you’re fucked.
Katie
Go back now! And try this one: “I’m looking forward to new challenges.”
Liesl
You’re amazing! Gotta run. brb
Liesl
So, I’m sure there will be a time when I can look back on this day and laugh, but today, I am totally mortified.
Katie
Oh no. What did you do?
Liesl
I may have accidentally said something along the lines of, “I’m young, but I’m ready to roll up my SKIRT for you.”
Katie
Sleeves! Roll up your sleeves!!
Liesl
I know! But Katie, you haven’t seen this guy. He’s the definition of eye candy.
Katie
You’re not gonna make rent this month, are you?
Liesl
Okay, okay. I’ll keep trying!
Katie
Trying to get the job, you mean.
Liesl
Yes, of course! I must still be a little drunk.
Katie
Leez, if you sabotage this job because you want a date…
Liesl
I may have said “I’ve never worked a day in my life, but I’d love to work under you.”
Katie
Shit. This just keeps getting worse.
Liesl
I seriously can’t help myself! I’m gonna go back now and try to salvage what’s left of this disaster.
Liesl
Done. On my way out. Don’t ask me how it went. Just pour me a bourbon.
Katie
At least you stuck it out.
Katie
Hey, did you get the guy’s number?
Liesl
Whose? Channing? Pretty sure he never wants to see me again.
Katie
No, no, the guy you may have had sex with last night.
Liesl
Let me check my phone.
Liesl
I do have a new number in Contacts…
Katie
Text him. He will for sure make this shitty interview go away.
Liesl
Okay, texting him now.
Liesl
OMG, CHANNING’S PHONE JUST BEEPED!!! HE’S DOWN THE HALL AND LOOKING RIGHT AT ME!!!
Katie
IS HE THE “HOT GUY” FROM LAST NIGHT??
Liesl
He just texted me back: “I thought I recognized you!”
Katie
You’re both ridiculous. It’s literally been 5 hours since you may or may not have slept each other, but neither of you has any recollection of the other one.
Liesl
He just said: “Let’s get a drink after work.”
Liesl
BEST JOB INTERVIEW EVER!!
Katie
Not if you didn’t get the job!
Liesl
Oh shit, let me ask him.
Katie
You can’t ask him that!!
Liesl
He said: “Let’s talk about it over coffee tomorrow. Your place or mine?”
