This is a disaster.
Why don’t I ever have anything to wear??
I’m standing in front of the mirror trying to decide on a shirt.
One is a deep red with a plunging neckline.
The other is a light blue that’s cute and flirty.
But I know neither would be flattering on my chubby frame.
I groan and toss them on the ever-growing pile of clothes behind me.
And then I collapse on it.
Before I can wallow any further in my self-pity…
My phone rings.
It’s a FaceTime call from my best friend, Dylan.
I accept the call…
And feel better when I see his friendly face.
He surveys the scene behind me.
Dylan
Dylan
Woah, did a tornado hit your room?
Maddie
Maddie
I’m dying.
Dylan sighs.
Dylan
Dylan
What is it this time?
Maddie
Maddie
I have nothing to wear.
Dylan
Dylan
Um, have you checked your floor?
Maddie
Maddie
Ha ha.
Maddie
Maddie
I have a date later…kind of.
Dylan
Dylan
That clears things up.
Maddie
Maddie
It’s not set in stone.
Maddie
Maddie
Jake said he might try to call after he gets back from lacrosse practice.
Dylan rolls his warm brown eyes.
Maddie
Maddie
What?
Dylan
Dylan
Might? Try?
Dylan
Dylan
What are you, a last resort?
Maddie
Maddie
He’s really busy!
Maddie
Maddie
Anyway, I’m glad you called.
Maddie
Maddie
I’m trying to find an outfit…
Maddie
Maddie
And I need a guy’s perspective.
Maddie
Maddie
I want something that says I’m daring and adventurous…
Maddie
Maddie
And maybe a little dangerous.
Dylan
Dylan
But you’re none of those things.
Dylan
Dylan
Your idea of a good time is wearing sweatpants…
Dylan
Dylan
And watching a Harry Potter movie marathon.
Maddie
Maddie
I know, but I don’t want Jake to know that!
Maddie
Maddie
I actually want him to like me.
Dylan
Dylan
But isn’t that the point?
Dylan
Dylan
To get him to like the real you?
I scoff at his naïveté.
Maddie
Maddie
Please, who would like the real me?
Dylan opens his mouth…
But I don’t give him the chance to say whatever smart comeback he was planning.
I hold up the two shirt options for him.
Maddie
Maddie
Okay, which one?
Dylan
Dylan
I don’t know…
Dylan
Dylan
I guess I’d have to see what they look like on you.
Maddie
Maddie
Ugh, fine.
Without thinking, I take off the shirt I’m wearing…
Leaving me in my floral-print bra.
Dylan coughs awkwardly.
Dylan
Dylan
Er, Maddie, you know this is a video call, right?
I freeze.
I can’t believe I just did that.
I let out a yelp and frantically pull my shirt back over my head…
Trying to shield my doughy body from Dylan’s view.
Maddie
Maddie
Oh my God, I’m so sorry!
Dylan tries to play it cool…
But I can tell by the faint flush of his cheeks that he’s a bit flustered.
Dylan
Dylan
Eh, it’s fine.
Dylan
Dylan
Nothing I haven’t seen before.
At this, I nearly drop my phone.
Maddie
Maddie
What?!
Dylan grins mischievously.
Dylan
Dylan
Remember when you used to go streaking through my backyard…
Dylan
Dylan
And then cannonball into the koi pond?
Maddie
Maddie
Oh my God, I was six!
Dylan
Dylan
It still counts.
Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes.
Maddie
Maddie
I’ll be right back.
I pick up the red shirt first…
Then step off to the side to put it on.
It’s very tight and difficult to get into.
But I like it because it sucks in all my tummy fat…
So I don’t look like I have a food baby.
I come back into the frame.
Maddie
Maddie
Okay, what about this?
Dylan scratches his chin reluctantly.
Dylan
Dylan
I don’t know.
Dylan
Dylan
You look…uncomfortable.
Maddie
Maddie
Uncomfortable?
Maddie
Maddie
That’s the adjective you’re going with?
Dylan
Dylan
I’ve never seen you wear it before.
Maddie
Maddie
If you must know, I got it from my mom’s closet.
Maddie
Maddie
It has a built-in corset.
Dylan
Dylan
Yikes.
Dylan
Dylan
Can you even breath?
Maddie
Maddie
Okay, what’s this about, Dylan?
Maddie
Maddie
Do you not like the shirt or something?
Dylan
Dylan
It just doesn’t seem like you.
Maddie
Maddie
Well, that’s perfect then.
Maddie
Maddie
I don’t want to look like me.
Maddie
Maddie
I want to look like the cool, skinny girls…
Maddie
Maddie
That Jake is always dating.
Maddie
Maddie
Not, you know, like some sort of bridge troll.
Dylan
Dylan
God, will you stop it!
I’m startled by his sudden outburst.
Maddie
Maddie
Jeez, I was just kidding.
Dylan
Dylan
You weren’t though, were you?
Maddie
Maddie
I—
Dylan
Dylan
I’m tired of you always putting yourself down, Maddie.
Dylan
Dylan
Go stand in the mirror and tell me what you see.
Maddie
Maddie
I don’t have time for this, Dylan.
Maddie
Maddie
Jake might call any minute.
Dylan
Dylan
Just do it.
I sigh, but reluctantly step in front of the mirror.
Dylan
Dylan
Now tell me what you see.
I shrug.
Maddie
Maddie
I don’t know.
Maddie
Maddie
A fat girl with bad hair and big feet.
Dylan
Dylan
Wow.
Dylan
Dylan
You really don’t see it, do you?
Maddie
Maddie
See what?
Dylan
Dylan
Yourself!
Dylan
Dylan
Someone who’s brilliant…
Dylan
Dylan
And can make me laugh so hard it hurts my stomach.
Dylan
Dylan
Someone who’s kind and supportive…
Dylan
Dylan
And who will always go out of her way to help a friend.
Dylan
Dylan
Someone who is absolutely beautiful…
Dylan
Dylan
Regardless of what she’s wearing…
Dylan
Dylan
Just as long as she’s happy.
I can’t help but break into a smile at his words.
Dylan
Dylan
Oh, right.
Dylan
Dylan
And someone who has a smile that lights up a room…
Dylan
Dylan
And makes me weak in the knees.
I look at Dylan in amazement.
Dylan
Dylan
Look, Maddie…
Dylan
Dylan
You don’t have to be thinner or prettier to impress Jake.
Dylan
Dylan
You just have to be yourself.
Dylan
Dylan
The real you, that is.
Dylan
Dylan
And if he doesn’t fall head over heels for the real you…
Dylan
Dylan
Then he’s a moron.
Dylan
Dylan
And he’s not worth your time.
Maddie
Maddie
Thanks, Dylan.
Dylan
Dylan
Any time.
We share a smile.
In that moment, it feels like he’s sitting right next to me…
And like we’re the only two people in the world.
So when I get a notification that says Jake is calling me…
I hit decline.
Dylan
Dylan